Category Archives: Humor

LeBron James Changed My Mind

File Photo – LeBron James

Dear Reader, I have been remiss in my support of the Hong Kong protestors.
I am typing this today to admit that after hearing LeBron James explain it all to me I have changed my mind. We have all been there… when confronted with a superior argument one has no other recourse but to admit one’s error and adopt a new position. So you can understand what I’m talking about, Mr. James’ explanation regarding His and the NBA’s position on not supporting the Hong Kong protestors is below.  (Full link here.)

“I don’t want to get into a [verbal] feud with Daryl Morey, but I believe he wasn’t educated on the situation at hand, and he spoke,” James said before the Los Angeles Lakers played the Golden State Warriors in a preseason game at Staples Center. “And so many people could have been harmed not only financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually. So just be careful what we tweet and say and we do, even though, yes, we do have freedom of speech, but there can be a lot of negative that comes with that, too.”

– LeBron James

It’s fair to say that I occasionally fall on my sword for Freedom, Free Speech and Individual Diversity when I should be more considerate when it comes to profiting off of the systematic oppression of others.  After hearing LeBron, I realize I am the problem.  I am insensitive.  I lack empathy.

I apologize.

With that in mind, compounded with my desire to repent my uneducated, naive and misguided ways, I will capitalize on my extensive background in media and marketing. I would like to offer the NBA coaches and players a few tag lines they can apply while speaking/tweeting on this issue.

1.  Assimilate Hong Kong!

2.  Oppress Hong Kong!

3.  Enslave Hong Kong!

(Runner up: 4.  Shut up and Buy Our Shoes!)

All of the above meet the “Simple, Powerful, Direct” requirement of a solid information campaign meant to clearly communicate intent and purpose.  All three may be employed so long as they are repeated at least once at every given opportunity.  You’re welcome.

I also have a few suggestions for Tibet…  but it involves renaming the region and some of it’s inhabitants “Nike”.  The Nike Lama… The Dalai Addidas… seriously… it could work.  This pitch could also be applied to Taiwan and the Senkaku islands with minor adjustments saving China the cost of creating a fresh new campaign.  Kerrwan and the Popovich Islands has a nice ring to it…

 

 

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Biden 2020!

It’s official, I’m jumping on the Biden 2020 Bandwagon.
Simply put, This man has earned my support.
Some of you may be asking why I have decided to go this direction so early in the Election Process.
Well, let me be clear…
I find him endlessly entertaining.
It might be the very first time I would DVR the debates between two Presidential Candidates just so I can watch them over and over.  It would be the gift that would give and give…
Frankly, the determining factor was Corn Pop.
Yes, a pomade laden gangster with a straight razor and a penchant for diving convinced me that Joe Biden was my guy.
So I’m going to turn my record player on and cheer old Joe till the bitter end.

GO JOE!


Please Note: 2019 Administrative Update to FBI Employee Manual

Following this morning’s release of the IG report, the FBI Employee Manual was updated to reflect changes in acceptable handling of Classified Material.

The Manual now reads:

“Should an Employee desire to make available Classified material to a party or parties without appropriate clearance they must first write down the information or place it in a separate memo aside from the immediate document. Then the Employee is required to “give it to a friend” who may, or may not, be associated with the FBI but who has contacts outside the FBI. Along with this transfer, the Employee must also provide direction as to who the material should ultimately be given to and what desired action should be taken with that material.”

This Update serves as a “mirror” needed to establish standard operating procedures following the State Department Employee Manual Update of July 5th, 2016, which outlined the permissibility of State Department Officials to transfer Classified Material through remote personal servers in order to bypass Government Monitored Information Systems so long as those servers were located in non-secure, publically accessible, locations such as basements and bathrooms and administered by individuals without the appropriate security clearances.  (The State Department Update was clarifying what was up to that point referred to as the “Sandy Berger Section“.)

If you maintain the equivalency of a GS-13 or above, please make the appropriate adjustments to your methodologies.  If you do not hold one of the above pay grades these changes do not apply to you.

Also, please do not contact your supervisor if you have any questions.  All questions and relevant concerns should be directed to the New York Times.  If your superior contacts you, or has intermediaries contact you, regarding these changes in methods or implementation of them, you should obfuscate and when circumstances allow, contact the New York Times.  If for any reason anyone in the press contacts you regarding these methodologies, you should contact the New York Times.

 

—End—


Why I love the Russians…

Scientists distill vodka from Chernobyl’s radioactive exclusion zone and say it seems safe to drink

By Christopher Brito  (August 9, 2019 / 4:50 PM / CBS News)

Scientists have distilled vodka from ingredients found in the Chernobyl exclusion zone, creating the first consumer product out of the area since the nuclear disaster over 30 years ago. Called Atomik, the artisan vodka is actually an experiment from researchers looking into how much radioactivity would transfer over to crops grown in the zone, according to the Chernobyl Spirit Company, the team that created it.

Chernobyl Spirit Company made the liquor out of rye grain they planted in the exclusion zone and water from an aquifer in Chernobyl. After distilling it and conducting tests, James Smith, a University of Portsmouth environmental scientist and part of the group, told CBS News partner BBC they concluded that their product is “no more radioactive than any other vodka.”

Atomik vodka was created as an experiment for scientists to analyze how much radioactivity transfers from crops grown in the Chernobyl exclusion zone. Chernobyl Spirit Company

“Any chemist will tell you, when you distill something, impurities stay in the waste product,” Smith said. They sent the Chernobyl vodka to Southhampton University in the U.K. to undergo testing for possible radioactivity.

“They couldn’t find anything — everything was below their limit of detection,” he said.

The only problem with the vodka is that so far there’s only one bottle of it, according to the BBC. The team said in a blog post they plan on making more bottles of Atomik, with the hope of making a profit to help local communities that surround the abandoned zone.

The recent HBO series “Chernobyl” renewed interest in the disaster and the site where it transpired. Fears of radiation have kept many away from the exclusion zone, which was evacuated in the aftermath of the 1986 nuclear accident, but thousands of tourists now travel to the site every year. So many, in fact, that Ukraine’s president announced plans to make the site and surrounding areas more tourist friendly. The plans include new waterways and checkpoints in the area, enhanced cellphone reception and new walking trails. Filming restrictions will also be lifted.

Back in April 1986, when the region was part of the Soviet Union, a reactor at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant exploded, resulting in at least 32 deaths in the immediate aftermath. After initially downplaying the risk, the communist regime soon forced thousands of people to evacuate, turning the nearby city of Pripyat into a ghost town. Hundreds of square miles surrounding the reactor remain off limits.

(Russian Editor’s note:  Animal on label is Squirrel.)


Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Join me (once again… and again… and again…) in raising a shot glass full of Tequila paired with a fine, German Crafted, Mexican Cerveza celebrating just one of a long list of French military defeats.
Since turning French military catastrophe into holidays would leave us with little time to actually work, we in the U.S. and Mexico have decided that the 5th of May will be it.

Viva Cinco de Mayo!

It was a turning point for the Mexican army (under Seguin) when they defeated the French at Puebla… Blah, blah, blah, Whatever…

While I certainly give credit to the Mexican army for defeating the French… so has everyone else.  In other words it’s a huge, not so exclusive, club with an  ever-expanding membership… kind of like Costco.  As far as I’m concerned, I’ll toast Mexico as well as all those throughout history who have kept the French contained and focused on making cheese, creating recipes for animals humans would otherwise not eat and various delightfully fluffy egg dishes.

Salud!


Did Anyone Catch Chuck Standing Up for all those innocent lives taken by Illegals?

This morning Chuck Schumer stood up for Victims and the Families who have lost loved ones at the hands of illegal aliens.

I agree… a Wall will be ineffective…

I would let the Socialists have their talking point while ADDING more Personnel, Aircraft, Detention Centers, Drones, LiDar, GPRS, Seismic Sensors, Flooding Devices, Robotic Dogs, Sound and Microwave Deterents (ADS), e-verify, Guard Goats, Stinging Wasps, Mariachis, etc. etc.

Since it’s a Fast Food Freak Out weekend…

In the famous words of Taco Bell;

Run to the Border!

 

(It should also be known that I would support a vastly expanded Work Visa program combined with a removal of the Welfare benefits for those not currently citizens.  People who want to come here to work should be able to do so as long as they return to their home country for at least two weeks and secure a new, current, work visa upon each entry.  If they want to great things Americans get like a vote and Tax payer’s money they will need to get in line like eveyoneelse.  Seems super simple… because it is.  La Gran Mentira.)


Nancy Pelosi Wins Race for House Majority Leader! Dow Tanks!

File Photo – Nancy Pelosi

Makes sense to me…