Category Archives: Humor

Stephen King Doesn’t mean to be Snarky…

File Photo:  Stephen King

Apparently Stephen King, author of brilliant works of fiction such as ‘The Dark Man’ and ‘Rage’, decided to not “be snarky”…

While I don’t care much about what Stephen thinks it brings up several questions.

  1.  Does Stephen need a break from ‘Don’?  If so, why doesn’t he just turn off the TV?
  2.  What does heaven look like to Stephen King?  Oh wait… I don’t care.
  3.  Is it only me or is it always annoying when someone starts a sentence with “Not to be Snarky, but…” or “Not to be an Assh*le, but…” or “Not to be a has-been author who nobody cares about anymore, but…” to then go on and be exactly that?

Stephen, if heaven is waiting for you and all you need to get there is a “break from Blabbermouth Don” then just walk away from the TV.  We all wish you the peace you’re looking for.

Advertisements

State of Kansas experiences Mass Exodus of Law Enforcement Officers!

In light of a new law just passed in Kansas, Law Enforcement Personnel are moving to any of 32 other states.

“We can’t get out of here fast enough!”  says one unidentified Wichita Police Officer interviewed by our on scene reporter.  “We knew this was coming, but didn’t think it would happen so quickly.  It was just out of the Blue…”

Full story here:

http://www.kansas.com/news/politics-government/article210902319.html

 


Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Join me (once again… and again… and again…) in raising a shot glass full of Tequila paired with a fine, German Crafted, Mexican Cerveza celebrating just one of a long list of French military defeats.
Since turning French military catastrophe into holidays would leave us with little time to actually work, we in the U.S. and Mexico have decided that the 5th of May will be it.

Viva Cinco de Mayo!

It was a turning point for the Mexican army (under Seguin) when they defeated the French at Puebla… Blah, blah, blah, Whatever…

While I certainly give credit to the Mexican army for defeating the French… so has everyone else.  In other words it’s a huge, not so exclusive, club with an  ever-expanding membership… kind of like Costco.  As far as I’m concerned, I’ll toast Mexico as well as all those throughout history who have kept the French contained and focused on making cheese, creating recipes for animals humans would otherwise not eat and various delightfully fluffy egg dishes.

Salud!


Hollywood Suddenly finds a Use for Boys!

Cate Blanchett – File Photo

Apparently, celebrities are getting facials made from cloned baby foreskin cells

Article Published By Filipa Ioannou at SFGATE

“Cate Blanchett recently told Vogue Australia she got a treatment called a “penis facial.”

People have put a lot of wild things on and around their faces in the name of smooth, blemish-free, youthful-looking skin: Leeches! Horse oil! Bee venom! Snail mucus! Bird poop! Animal placenta! Literal neurotoxins!

But it seems Cate Blanchett decided to one-up us all with something she referred to as a “penis facial” (not the X-rated kind). (Editor’s note:  This is assumptive.)

“Sandy (Bullock) and I saw this facialist in New York, Georgia Louise, and she gives what we call the ‘penis facial,'” she said in an interview with Vogue Australia when asked the most outlandish beauty treatment she’d ever received.

The lines in question were quietly removed from the article, but it was too late. A cached version lived on, and the internet’s fascination was piqued.  Cryotherapy Facials: Dermatologist to the stars uses freezing temps to achieve a red-carpet glow!

Blanchett herself wasn’t quite clear on why it was nicknamed the penis facial — maybe the smell?

“I don’t know what it is, or whether it’s just ’cause it smells a bit like sperm — there’s some enzyme in it, so Sandy refers to it as the ‘penis facial,'” she told Vogue Australia.

Would that it were so simple. Alas, the story of the penis facial does not end with the smell.  (Editor’s Note:  Dear God…)

Louise, who also reportedly counts Emma Stone, Katy Perry, Alexander Wang and Karly Kloss among her clients (no word on whether any of them have gotten the penis facial, though) was happy to clarify things in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter. The facial is derived from cells that are clones of baby foreskin cells.

“The foreskin is collected during circumcision and the stem cells are then harvested and extracted through a centrifuge,” she told THR. “I am always very mindful to explain radical serums and potions that I carry in my back bar, so I always explain that EGF is derived from newborn baby foreskin, but cells were taken and from that, new cells are cloned from a laboratory.”

It costs $650.

Filipa Ioannou is an SFGATE staff writer. Email her at fioannou@sfchronicle.com and follow her on Twitter”


And the Oscar goes to…

SHAPE OF WATER

BEST PICTURE!

Congratulations guys on a wholly original Cinema Experience leaving us thinking about the World around us.  We here at makeaneffort tip our hats.

Here are a couple stills from the movie in case you haven’t seen it yet.

Cheers – Mike

For the life of me I cannot understand why Movie attendance and the Ratings of Award Shows is dropping… aside from the force feeding of political correctness, pious posturing and poisonous politics, what’s not to love?

The Motion Pictures are just THAT GOOD.


Guns, Guns, Guns…

…and who owns them.

I’ve been paying attention, with unusual interest, to the debate surrounding the tiny newspaper in New York that released the names of firearms permit holders.

Clearly this was political.  Clearly it was legal.

OK… so why would anyone be upset?  Aside from the blatantly political move by the “objective” press….

1.  There is an argument that gun owners do not want “bad guys” to know they have a gun in their home.

I’m not sure I understand this argument… If I’m not home my weapons are secure.  If I’m home, I’m secure.  No problem.  I hope the “bad guys” all know… that’s kind of the point.

2.  There is an argument that law-abiding Liberals living around those who have publicly applied for, and obtained, firearms permits are a threatened by those permit holders.

Again, I’m not sure I understand this argument as law-abiding Gun Owners are not the ones committing crimes.  They are also connected in many cases of stopping criminal acts in progress.  (We can discuss who is the “first line of defense” in comments if needed.  I welcome it.  I have also heard Liberal talking heads say they would not want their kids in my home if they know I have guns… well I too do not want your kids in my home, soooo… we’re okay then, right?)

But there is one clear point here.

Yes, this exposure was intended to “shame” those who own guns by the Leftist Newspaper.  But it has turned out to be only shameful to the Leftist permit holders.  This fact should bring a smile to our collective gun owning faces.

You have to remember that to a Liberal, laws are for other people… not the Liberals who propose them.  The only people on that list of names who were “shamed” were those individual Liberals who champion Gun Control laws… for the Little People.   It is fashionable to be in favor of gun bans… being more outraged over every shooting than your neighbor… shaking your head in disdain over the proliferation of guns in America, etc.

This presents itself in the Righteousness associated with their Democrat/Socialist circle of friends by being in favor of all and any Gun Control.  (These are also the same people who if offered a sign for their front yard proclaiming “This Home is Proudly Gun Free” would refuse to put it up.  I know this because I have personally offered to hammer it into the ground myself…)

However, It becomes difficult to explain to your “Common Sense-Mainstream” Liberal neighbors that you too are a “Common Sense-Mainstream” Liberal when you have been outed as a gun-toting freak.

This is why there has been quick and focused amount of negative attention applied to this matter by the rest of the Leftist Media… because they’re well aware that a number of their members happen to have concealed carry permits and reside in New York and the surrounding boroughs, counties and states.  The very leftist New York Media who are NOT cheering this latest exposure of permit holders, know full well they are on deck for the next round of exposures.

So once again, the Hypocrisy of the Left is what is at issue here.  Nothing New.

Don’t be distracted by the first two arguments and pay closer attention to who is being offended and positioning themselves as the suddenly new champions of the second amendment and personal privacy.  You will find a growing number of Democrats whose voting records demonstrate their brand new, previously undocumented, love of both.  They have images to protect… don’t you know.

Keep Smiling!

(Update: Gawker has fired the next shot by producing a list of permit holders in NYC.  Hilarious!)

It’s worth noting that this story occurred several years ago… and very shortly after Gawker released the NYC list the ‘releasing of lists’ suddenly stopped.  It was not made illegal to release these lists… it just ‘mysteriously’ stopped.  Funny how Leftist Liberals do not like it when you turn on the lights.

(010313)


The Harvey Wine Stein

An Exclusive Offer Available only at the Makeaneffort Marketplace.

The Harvey Wine Stein!

Directly from Harvey Studios comes this fashionable accessory guaranteed to oppress the Ladies! 

The Harvey Artisans have placed all of their efforts into their meticulous design with the ultimate goal of getting you Lucky.  We Promise a life changing experience for everyone, and we mean Everyone!

We’re so confident in our product that we guarantee you will see results the very first time you use it.

Discover the secret all of Hollywood has known about for 50-years!

Order your Harvey Wine Stein today!

BUT WAIT!  THERE’S MORE!

For the first 100 SAG Members, Harvey Studios will throw in a complimentary bottle of their Cosby GHB, a proprietary blend of hilarious Organic compounds designed to relax the most stubborn stress associated with Cage Free Dating as well as a Bartenders guide just in case your very briefly significant other doesn’t like Wine!

That’s a $50,000,000 offer for the low, low, price of just $20 a month plus shipping and a lot of handling… for the duration of your prison sentence should you employ this Beautiful Stein in a way not recommended by Harvey Studios, Makeaneffort or Makeaneffort’s associated affiliates, contacts or past customers.  (But actually recommended by Harvey Studios.)

SO DON’T WAIT!  THIS IS A LIMITED TIME OFFER!

With overnight shipping tomorrow you could be the Envy of your overweight, charismatically challenged, friends!

Free Shipping within the Continental United States!

2-Hour Delivery within the Los Angeles Area.

For a modest additional fee, if you’ll be in the Greater Los Angeles area, Mr. Harvey will invite you to his Suite where you’ll be provided personal instruction.  What could be Better than a Private Masterclass with a Harvey Wine Stein?!  Well, a Private Masterclass with Mr. Harvey himself of Course!

DON’T DELAY!

ORDER TODAY!

WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!

For you Finicky Guys out there looking for something a bit less ‘in the Majority’, try our exclusive HasBro Spacey Full Body Climbing Gym with a personalized Groping Guide providing you a tailored step by step program honing your skills and giving you the advantage in world that just doesn’t understand the meaning of “Yes, you will”.

All of our products come with our trademarked easy to follow “Intimidating Friends and Disappearing Enemies – a How To Guide for the Modern Actor/Politician.”  Note:  The Second Edition has been recently updated to include Media Mogul and News Editor.

We look forward to hearing from you.

OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY!