From the “Why the F*#K Would We Do That?!” Files:

“Scientists closer to CLONING T-Rex after discovering remains of pregnant dinosaur” – UK Daily Express

Clearly there are some questions…

So we reached out to Scientists and asked “Why the F*#k Would We Do This?!”

We received various answers ranging from “We have all this government grant money and can’t figure out what else to do with it… you can only run a shrimp on a treadmill for so long” to “They could be tasty”.

Fair Enough.

But we continued to express concern regarding the direct implication of releasing Giant Carnivorous Reptiles loose upon the World.

The response was oddly unanimous.  With a 100% consensus, every Scientist we spoke to agreed that we would keep them where the World keeps all the other incredibly dangerous, lethally poisonous and horrifically hostile animals on the planet.

Australia could not be reached for comment.


Why Trump is Not Hitler…

First off…

Hitler had a stupid Mustache, not stupid Hair.

Second…

Hitler Hated the Jews specifically, not Everybody in general.

Third…

Hitler had a plan.

So Shut Up Already.

Trump is not Hitler.  Trump is Not a National Democratic Socialist.  Trump has no idea what that even means.

But we could certainly have a conversation regarding the two Socialists who ARE running for President…


Leprechaun Stomping

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Before we get started, I want to offer a quick public service announcement;

The Best Thing about Green Beer is Green Vomit.

Seriously… that’s the Best Thing.

So do yourself a favor and stick with the Guinness.  (And liters of Black Bush if you’re anything like me.)

OK, back to the post.

Now that we’re coming up on the Second of the Drinking Holiday’s, Mardi Gras being First and Cinco de Mayo rounding out the Season… (I know Memorial Day is big in the South.  It’s when they ‘officially’ open up the lakes, rivers and pools, for public injury.) we have to remind ourselves to sober up just enough to get through Easter Dinner. Your mother will be disappointed if you sleep through the entire meal, so Drink Responsibly.

For those of you who do not have an Easter Dinner to attend, you’ll enjoy our Drinking Game.

It’s called Leprechaun Stomping.  (I’m sure there is some kind of bigotry here, but until someone clarifies it for me I’m keeping this tradition alive.  At least I didn’t call it the Washington Redskins Stomping…)

Given we’ve been drinking non-stop since Mardi Gras we should be primed and ready for today’s game.

You’ll need a friend to keep score.  You cannot keep score yourself… if you don’t have any friends ask the person closest to you.  Proximity is a great substitute for friendship.

The object is to Stomp on Leprechaun’s.  I know this sounds easy… but it’s far more difficult than you might think.

What makes it hard is you can only see Leprechaun’s out of the corner of your eye… so be careful… if you can see the Leprechaun by staring directly at him Don’t Stomp!  He is Not a Leprechaun!  He could be just some short guy in a green outfit… but he is certainly Not A Leprechaun.  If your still unsure, approach very slowly, Grab and Yank His Ear.  If you can do this He is Not a Leprechaun.  Do Not Stomp.  (This Maneuver is called “Grab and Yank”.  It has Many Meanings in a number of different countries, so be cautious when and where you use it.  Sometimes the Meaning is Good, sometimes not so much.)

Important Things to keep in Mind;

Leprechauns Show Up in Groups.

Leprechauns Hide Behind Things.

Leprechauns will not notice you if you are yelling Stuff in Gaelic.  (You can even yell things that sound remotely close to Gaelic… that’s what I do.  It seems to work.)

Here’s another tip…

Leprechauns leave behind a Very Faint Residue once Stomped.  But, It can only be Tasted with the Tip of your Tongue.  You will find It on the Bottom of your Shoe, or Boot, as well as on the Bar Floor where you Stomped Him.  This will come in handy if there is an argument with your “friend” over the legitimacy of the Stomp.

Leprechauns Will Run!  If you are New to the Game, A Few Beers into the Game, or just slow, you’ll be chasing the Leprechauns.  But don’t worry, you’ll get better… or not.

Leprechauns will come out the More you Drink.  If Multiple people are Playing, this Tip could be to your Advantage.

Leprechauns are in Endless Supply.  As Long as You’re Playing, They’ll be There.

Those are the Basics.

For the Advanced Players a few extra hints from our Pro’s:

Once you think you see a Leprechaun out of the corner of your eye you have to start stomping quickly.

You need to put a reasonable amount of Force into your Stomp as Leprechauns don’t go down easily.

After you’ve Stomped on your Leprechaun you must immediately turn to your “friend” for a Ruling and Current Score.  Both of These are to be loudly Shouted Out for all those Playing to Hear.  (Warning:  There have been many a fight associated with this aspect of the Game.  “Friends” sometimes fail to give you credit for your Leprechaun… Sometimes they lose interest in your efforts… Sometimes they just don’t want to play… Sometimes they’re not really “friends” and they make-out with your girlfriend and eat your food in the fridge and drink your beer and drive your car but never put gas in it.  But that’s not how it works.  In Fine Irish Tradition You get to choose who your “friend” is and They Have to Play.  However, after a Fight the rules state you can pick a new “friend” if you want.  This often depends on the Size and Strength of your Previous Choice.)

If you spill your Beer you Lose a Leprechaun.  Don’t do this.  This is kind of a Life Rule.

All right Folks!

Get out There and Play… Today is the Day.

Slainte!


Reagan’s 11th Commandment…

Is it time to repeal the 11th Commandment in the face of the damage it has allowed to happen to this country?

Without question… yes.

Today’s lead story is John Boehner endorsing Paul Ryan for President.

For those of you just tuning in, no, Paul Ryan is not running for President. And yes, John Boehner is part of the reason why Trump is doing so well in this election cycle. Sure, sure… Maybe John needs to set the Johnny Walker down for a day or two and think a bit more about what he’s saying. And possibly it’s the guilt of being one of the building blocks of betrayal upon which Trump is constructing his tacky Maison-Blanc. But I’m more willing to lean towards Boehner’s complete and total incomprehension of what he and his Fellow Travelers have done to this country and it’s Constitution.  Additionally, Boehner’s endorsement of Paul Ryan should effectively end Paul Ryan’s career in politics.  Should…  Should… end his career.

I offer that Reagan’s 11th Commandment has much to do with the Liberal, dare I say soft Leftist, Rockefeller Republicans regaining control over the party once Reagan vacated office.  They effectively hid behind the ‘don’t say anything bad about us’ rule while espousing rhetoric the people wanted to hear and utilizing that misdirected support to expand their power and influence.

When Ted Cruz stepped out onto the Senate floor and correctly accused Mitch McConnell of lying to him the Establishment Republicans went into complete meltdown.  Violating the very rule that has protected them all these years could not be tolerated in any way… certainly not by an individual who believed in the U.S. Constitution above the back room personal promises and collection of power the Establishment had wrapped itself in.

For the American People… The curtain was pulled back if only for a moment.

The Boehners of the world, add Paul Ryan to that group, know their power and control rests on The Curtain Never Being Pulled Back.  It simply cannot happen.  Ever.

That is why they fear Trump… and Cruz.

This is also why they have Scotch induced trashy novel fantasies such as a spiky-black-spray-painted-hair-not-flowing-in-the-wind Paul Ryan riding bareback and bare-chested into the GOP Convention Hall to save the Day from the Evil Constitutional Conservatives.

The RINO’s know full well Both Cruz and Trump will take their issues to an American Electorate who is beginning to pay attention.  They have an audience who is starting to listen… voters who pay attention scare politicians who say whatever they want and do whatever they choose.

The Establishment Fear is palpable.

The very First lesson you learn as a young person taking Life Saving lessons is a Drowning Man will take you down with Him.

As I tap this out, we are seeing that behavior from the Establishment.  They are flailing in desperation to preserve their power.

My only concern is we do not commit the same mistake Ronald Reagan made.  We must NOT allow ourselves to set up rules which nourish the very kind of behavior the Establishment built this Empire on.  The cloak of protection must be burned on the pile of everything else this fever has touched.

It’s time to get rid of the 11th Commandment.

Trump doesn’t know any of them… and Cruz knows they stop at 10.

Either way, we win.

 


Suddenly the Leftist Liberals at Apple care what the Founders would think?!

The Irony here is almost profound…

Apparently the Apple Folks are ‘appalled’ by what the Fed’s (the very product of their elitist worldview, behavior and voting habits) are doing to them.

Rich!

Next thing you know they’ll be complaining about Obamacare… and Confiscatory Tax Rates… and Poor Public Education because of Unions…  Minimum Wage… Regulations… to go along with their brand new revulsion brought on by Government Overreach.

Funny how those who promote it get upset when it’s applied to them.

Hilarious.

What’s not so funny?

These are the people who don’t believe it could happen until it does happen… which only empowers those who wish to make it happen.


Not as Divided as They want you to Think. Well… never Think… but Believe.

The latest round of paid for protests have the media sounding the alarm that The United States is more “Divided” than it has ever been.

Let’s start with the fact that these ‘protesters’ are paid. The few that are not paid are Organized by people, like our current President when he was in Chicago, who Are Paid.  And, they are paid for by Global Socialists… namely, and beginning with, George Soros. (BTW: His last name was adopted from the Esperanto word for Soar. I Sh*t you not. This is a seriously odd duck. However I don;t have time to sort him out for you… you’ll have to makeaneffort.)  It’s also worth paying attention to the same faces popping up from protest to protest.  This is not a large group of folks… it is not a ground swell… it is not a sudden realization by the masses that they are being controlled.  If That ever happened the very Democratic Socialist Tools would put a stop to it immediately as those types of folks cannot be controlled.  Not only that, they might trip over an epiphany which clears theirs minds enough to see it is exactly those who profess to represent their grievances which are the ones making sure they remain aggrieved.  As history demonstrates, Socialism is always a Tyranny of the Minority.

I would remind you, Dear Reader, that nobody had to pay for, nor organize, all of the flags hung outside of our homes after 9/11.

If you really want to protest something… it doesn’t take Community Organizers and Billionaires to make it happen.

Only revolution needs those things.

And Socialists know all about Successful Revolutions, it’s what they do afterwards that’s so horrendous.  Now that I tap that out, it occurs to me that it’s what they do in every realm outside of fomenting revolution that is horrendous.  And now that I tapped THAT out, even their revolutions are horrendous.

But they know how to do it.

They even have manuals to go with the t-shirts.

The only upside to this is it appears the Honest Socialist Scum are sick and tired of the Dishonest Socialist Scum.  That alone will make the Democratic Convention Good TV.

(I should start a new line of clothing… the “I Survived…” series.  “I Survived Pol Pot.”  “I Survived Mao.”  “I Survived Hitler.”  “I Survived Stalin.”  “I Survived Chavez.”  “I Survived Lenin.”  “I Survived Che.”  “I Survived Castro.”  “I Survived Obama.”  “I Survived Putin.” – That would be a limited release just for the Russian Press.)


The Enemy of My Enemy may still be My Enemy.

While we watch the coalescing of sides between Trump and Cruz keep in Mind, the Enemy is The Republican Establishment.

Yes they Hate Trump… but they Hate Cruz even more.

Either way, we win. And they know it.

Yes, I’m a Cruz Guy. But if I must, as I have stated repeatedly, I will vote for P.T. Barnum, Bozo the Clown or Trump.

I am Anti-Socialist First.

Bernie is a Declared Socialist and Hillary is nothing more than an Undeclared one.

Cruz is a Constitutional Originalist, which is what I believe we need right now. Frankly we’ve needed such individuals holding office for the last 60 years. But I digress.

Trump… well Trump is… well, I’m not sure. And neither are you.

So if it comes down to one of the Socialists and the Mystery candidate, I guess I have to pull the level, mark the box or punch the chad for the Mystery Candidate and take my chances. It’s kind of like the prize in a box of Cracker Jacks, you have no idea what you’re going to get and whatever it is will probably suck, but it’s better than a Socialist.

If it’s any indication of what those that have been fooling us for decades are all about, they would be fine with a Socialist instead of Ted or Bozo.

At the end of the day, the Republican Establishment is a Cancer that must be removed if this country is to ever fight the poison that is Socialism.

These times will demand of you very intense thought and deliberation.  We cannot afford to keep handling our politics like we do our Football. If we continue to do so, we will continue to be manipulated.  There’s really only one team on the side of Freedom and Liberty… and that team believes in the Constitution of the United States, in its Entirety, before all else.  Before ALL else.

This is serious.

Now is the Time for all Good Men to come to the aid of their… Country… Fellow Man… Selves.


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