Tag Archives: flu

Socialism is Dead!

Or is it?

The Wu-Tang Flu has parted the clouds which have long darkened our skies and shined the bright light of Truth upon us! Hallelujah!
Here’s what we know:

Don’t use Public Transportation.
Don’t use Public Education.
Don’t use Public Restrooms.
Don’t use Public Streets.
Don’t use Public Facilities of Any Kind… and Certainly Don’t Count on them to work as Promised.

Why? Because you’ll DIE. 

And, if in the off chance you don’t die, you’ll kill Granny just by visiting her…  you selfish, murdering, toilet paper hoarding A-Hole!

The lesson here is, buy your own car, own your own home, cook your own food, don’t pick your nose, poop in your own bathroom, home-school your kids or use private schools with small class sizes, take ownership of the streets and roads around you as well as your communities like… we… used… to.  Live at your own risk.

Of course, the “Never Let a Good Crisis Go To Waste” crowd is screaming for MORE GOVERNMENT! But I ask you, how is that Universal Health Care working for the Italians, Germans, French, Indians, Iranians, Chinese, etc. etc? Do the Mass Grave/Burn Pits come ‘free of charge’ because of their ‘amazing’ health schemes?  Yes, yes they do.  Cool! We definitely need some of that…

In the end here’s what the takeaway is, we might as well have been attacked.  Look at this like WWIII.  This virus appears to have been crafted intentionally if not released intentionally. 

We as a nation are more vulnerable now than ever in history exactly because we have abdicated our personal responsibility to nameless, faceless, bureaucrats who happily accept that power over us.  We have chosen via the people we have elected to live at everyone else’s risk.  You all know the old adage, “When Everyone Owns It, Nobody Owns It.”  Look around… it’s true.  This very horrible, bad, terrible idea is being demonstrated for all the world in real-time.  

Now there is no time.

So the Socialism that has permeated modern America should now be dead for all time.

Or, will we collectively beg for more of what got us here?

And, hoard Toilet Paper…

(As an aside, you might also note that living in a Big City is a bad idea.  Pushing your Grandparents into a Nursing Home is a bad idea.  Using Public Schools as Baby Sitters is a bad idea.  Not Saving a Dime is a bad idea.  Taking your sh*tty politics to places that are doing just fine and changing them into the sh*thole you just had to escape from is just Bad.  Hoarding Sh*t you can’t eat or has a short Shelf Life is also Ba… no, that’s just stupid.  I hope you enjoy every spoonful of your piping hot bowl of toilet paper.  As I tap this out it becomes clear how we got here.)

[For Karen.]


Where in the World is Jenny McCarthy?

The Butcher and I have been exchanging some comments which led me to repost my letter to Jenny…

An Open Letter to Jenny McCarthy:  070914 11am

Dear Ms. McCarthy,

I have to confess that I’ve followed your work since the long ago days of burping on Live TV,  Playboy and Fart Jokes.  But I have paid particular attention to your efforts over the last decade to ‘protect’ children from inoculations which you have decided cause diseases such as, but not limited to, Autism, Asperger’s and Mental Retardation.  The energy you have put into your efforts cannot be described as anything less than remarkable.

Because of your success in convincing so many American parents to ‘save’ their children from inoculations I feel compelled to point something out.

As I type this letter hundreds of thousands of children who have arrived in the United States illegally are being inserted into our public school system all over the Nation.

Allow me to restate what I just tapped out;

Hundreds of Thousands of medically unscreened children, some who have already exhibited ailments ranging from Head Lice and Scabies to Measles and TB, are being absorbed into groups of un-inoculated children of parents who believe the things you decided were true.

For that matter, Ms. McCarthy, there may even be some of those same parents… and Teachers… who abide by your understanding and interpretation of medical science.

With that in mind it then becomes relevant that the CDC (Center for Disease Control) has seen it necessary to quietly install, and bolster existing, emergency response centers across the nation because of the influx of the aforementioned illegal, unscreened, sick children.

I was hoping to appeal to your sense of caring for others by asking you to create a Mailing Address which the above parents, teachers and soon to be infected children can send their thanks.  In addition I would hope you could find a vehicle, possibly those microphones and magazine pages you utilized to campaign for anti-inoculations, to let the public know where to send their letters of appreciation.

I have Complete Faith you will do the Right Thing.

Appropriate Regards, Mike

(Here they come…)

(Feds allow sick to stay)

(How Many will your School Get?  It’s a Secret.)

Originally posted 070914


My Halloween Costume…

This Year I’ve decided to Frequent all 17 of my favorite Bars and Bowling Ally’s as…

A Narcissistic Nurse!

The basic get up will be a Bicycle helmet, Tight Black yoga pants and a “Hope and Change 2012” button. (I thought about the white clad, sexy nurse, thing but it doesn’t really convey the true horror or instill the level of genuine fear I’m looking for.)

In preparation I spent this morning Sharing needles with a local prostitute. Then I had sex with her… him… hard to tell from the extensive festering sores. I did however ask if I could borrow some of the Atazanvir and Valtrex in his/her jeans pocket.

Not having time to visit West Africa I then decided to head down to the mission and have as many homeless men with respiratory problems cough on me as possible. Just to be sure I wasn’t wasting my time I had them hack directly into my mouth. In fairness, I only allowed 45 minutes of consistent wheezing and hacking before it felt like I had received the attention I was looking for. Wiping my face off, I returned home.

But not before I found sewer grate downtown and gave it a throughout licking.
For the record, I chose that particular one because it smelled most like urine, decay, mixed strangely with skittles.

Once home, I whipped out my wife’s yoga pants and winched them up around my big chunky butt.

I pulled out my light blue pullover and donned my kid’s bicycle helmet.  The Hope and Change button I had to borrow…

Gazing into the mirror I knew I’d achieved my goal.

So tonight I will head out and drink from everyone’s glass…

Share everyone’s food…

And Dance like there’s no tomorrow…

Then I’ll pass out those sweaty, overly long and oddly uncomfortable hugs with abundance!

You might be asking if there is any possibility I could be giving them all gifts that keep on giving?

May be… or may be not.

But it’s not really about them…

Happy Halloween!

I’ll be the one behind you sneezing on your neck.