What’s in a name?

Apparently nothing.

So I’ve decided to change mine.  (Just like Mayor DeBlasio… or Mr. Wilhelm…whatever…)

People don’t like me.  I’ve taken an admittedly unscientific poll but the results are clear.  I’m despised.  There are many reasons for this… many, many reasons…

So, by changing my name I will wipe the slate clean.  I mean there are a bunch of people out there who haven’t met me yet and my reputation under my old name can’t precede me.  All I have to say is “That’s not me.”  It will be like being born again! (Kinda… actually very similar…)

And, as long as I don’t get too attached to my new name I can always change it again down the road if I screw it up a second or third time…

The Socialists have been doing this for a hundred years!  Once they were Socialists, then Communists, then Progressives, then Social Democrats, then Democratic Socialists, then Liberals just to be super confusing, then Leftists, back to Socialists and even Anarchists to render the term meaningless, then back to Progressives… anon, anon…  Just like the criminals they are.

Think about it, “Hillary Clinton” is a way better name than “Suicide Inducing Harpy” which is what she used to go by.

Come on!  It doesn’t matter what you call yourself.

Your name says it all… who cares about your actions.  Instant Indulgence, without having to purchase it.

We do it all the time.

All you have to do is pick something like Catholic, Conservative, or Liberal and that’s what you are.

You don’t even have to know what that moniker means because it means whatever you want it to. Brilliant!

So what if you only go to Mass at Midnight on Christmas Eve… and support abortion.  It doesn’t matter.  So what that when you’re confronted with Socialist principles you cringe in disgust… you’re “Liberal” and you’re going to continue to vote for “Liberals” no matter what.  You can even wear the mantle of “Conservative” though you couldn’t explain free-market capitalism if your life depended on it, and you support catastrophic spending by huge extra-constitutional government as long as it is “your guys” in charge…  NO problem!

We’re finally at the point where words have no meaning.

And never worry, if some malcontent tries to assign a definition, you can just combine a bunch of them like “conservative-liberal-pacifist or liberal-progressive-social democrat or left leaning-anarcho-capitalist”, there are no rules…go nuts!

So remember, as long as you keep changing what you call yourself nobody will ever challenge you.   And if nobody Challenges you, then even you will never have to genuinely understand what your new name means.  You’ll Never Feel Stupid Again!

So…  it’s time for me to make the change.

I’m going with “Omnipotent”.  (It says it all.)

I know, it’s a bit of a mouthful but “Enlightened” seemed a to feminine and I’m saving “Super Genius” for future use.

Oh… and it’s “Mr. Omnipotent” to you.  Or, possibly “Your Highness”.  I’ll have to think about that.



About Mike

Background is in Media with a little History Major thrown in just to be annoying. View all posts by Mike

11 responses to “What’s in a name?

  • xPraetorius

    Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Pick me!

    Remember when Taxes changed his name to Investment? WIC to SNAP? War to Overseas Contingency Operation? I Surrender became Soft Diplomacy? And so forth. All those name changes. Why not you?


    — x


  • xPraetorius

    Sweet! Great essay, Omni!

    Remember when the great and terrible Global Warming changed his name to Climate Change? Same idea! Remember when Ozone Hole changed his name to … nothing?

    I really think you’re on to something!


    — x

    Liked by 1 person

  • David

    i still remember going to vote for the first time when i was 18 yrs old. you could still register at the voting location in those days. a sweet old woman asked me if i wanted to register as a democrat or a republican. i thought about it for about 3 seconds. “Democrat!” i delcared, because we live in a democracy.

    am i a democrat? i actually side more with traditional republican ideas.

    we are complex beings and we are very reactive. can any one label describe us?


    • Mike

      You’re illustrating my point. Yes, while never perfect, labels identify us. We use thes labels to communicate complex concepts. With them, instead of saying “I drove my car to the store.” I would have to say I appraoched my internal gas combustion driven four wheel vehicle and used the ignition device to start it, then put it in to a gear linked to the drive train (which propels….
      Labels are imperative for unencumbered communication. What frustrates certain people is that sometimes the labels communicate a little too much information and can carry with them a (correctly) negative connotation… so their solution is to find a new label while not actually changing any of the fundamentals that the previous label described. (Socialist – Liberal – Progressive etc.)
      the other problem, which you help me illustrate, is the amount of time and effort figuring out what you believe is often the same you used when you were 18. And once that person puts that jersey on they will defend this decision often to the day they die, beyond reason.


  • Rattlesnake

    I would add that it can be misleading when a label such as “conservative” is applied to anyone, because such words can be ambiguous. In addition, most people’s specific ideology is not ideologically pure. I consider myself a conservative, but there are some things that I would probably disagree with many conservatives on (especially members of the “Christian right” that would like to see the separation of church and state end). But, I imagine, as a self-described conservative, people make incorrect assumptions about what views I have. It might be assumed that I believe in intelligent design instead of evolution, which isn’t the case. These words can be quite subjective in meaning. That is why I don’t really like using them; I prefer to make judgements based on specific philosophies or issues, but that is not always practical. For all practical purposes, I am a conservative (a word that I am confident I know the meaning of).


    • Mike

      “it can be misleading when a label such as “conservative” is applied to anyone, because such words can be ambiguous..”
      It is a tactic of the left to make all language ambiguous. It lends to being unaccountable, which big advantage.


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