The Full Length Mirror Diet

Full Length Mirror Diet.

Of all the diets, this might be my favorite.  It has the important parts, Love and Hate, Joy and Despair, with a heavy dose of truth.

Warning: While this is also an “all you can eat” approach to weight loss, it could be the most difficult for your self-esteem.

There is only one rule:

1.) Every meal MUST be eaten, completely nude while standing in front of a full length mirror.

Don’t get discouraged, it’s OK to cry… in fact, it’s expected.

This is also 100% guaranteed to work regardless of who you are.

Also be aware this Diet could be difficult to follow at work, but once you explain it to your co-workers we are sure they will understand.  Not only that, we’re also pretty sure you’ll get the bathroom all to yourself.

Although, if your blind, you will have to stand in front of another person (Preferably one who doesn’t like you very much.) and have them describe how they feel about what you doing.  You just might want to kill them, but that feeling is letting you know you’re doing it right.  And, you’re blind so you’ll never catch them… anyway that leads me to my next great Diet Plan.  You can Only Eat What You Kill Diet.  This Diet will appear tomorrow.

Enjoy!


The Slap Diet!

Diet Series Part V…

“Slap Down that extra Pound!”

This Revolutionary Diet Program offers multiple benefits with our primary goal being quick, and often permanent, weight loss.

The Slap Diet! is comprised of two fundamental components.  First being a historically proven reinforcement method.  Second being a sudden cardio-vascular fitness workout ranging from simply raising your heart rate to full muscle confusion.

Both of these are timed carefully to correspond with YOUR eating habits!

Don’t worry, this Program does not require any modification in the types of food you consume.  (Great for “picky” eaters!)

Here’s how it works:

You sign up with our qualified staff who follow you throughout the day.  (An additional night-time monitoring can be obtained with a slightly higher fee.  Contact your consultant for details.)

Just when you are about to put Food, Drink, Candy etc. into your mouth your dietary consultant will Slap the Crap out of you!

This New and Exciting approach to dietary health will provide you with the time-tested reinforcement historically shown to change your eating habits in a very positive way.  (Technically the reinforcement methods are “negative” but the results are Positive!  Very Positive!)

We have, as the second ancillary benefit, witnessed this progress into full contact fighting! If you have watched any MMA, or Ultimate Fighting, match you immediately realize the cardio-vascular benefit gained through such exercise.

It’s a double-edged approach to your physical health.  This Program is guaranteed to transform you!  It just doesn’t get any better!

Once you have experienced several iterations of the Slap Diet you may want to upgrade your experience…  and we’re here for you.

We offer an enhanced Slap Diet Program for a small, reasonable, Premium.

This Upgraded Program replaces your dietary consultant with anonymous individuals who we have outsourced the responsibility to help keep you on course.

Instead of a single person accompanying you throughout the day, and/or night, there will be complete strangers tasked with “Slapping Down that extra Pound” at the exact moment of your poor decision-making.  The bonus associated with this Premium Package is not having to feel the oppression tied to a single person following you around all the time.  Remarkably, the benefits remain the same… and in many cases become even more effective!  This is because the Premium Slap Package offers you the excitement of spontaneity.  Your Dietary Consultant could be a family member, a close friend or even the guy who just served you that double dip of Mint Chip Ice Cream… You’ll just never know!  It’s our Promise to You!

If you’re interested in this Brand New fully Guaranteed approach to your dietary health, please contact us through the comments section and we’ll customize a plan based specifically on your needs.

If you’re interested in joining our team you are also invited to contact us directly through the comments section.  Applicants compensation will be evaluated based on need and qualifications.  Please be advised, many of our Dietary Consultants work pro-bono and compete for jobs within this program.

Our Motto:  It’s fun for You!  It’s fun for Us!

It’s not just a Snap, it’s a Slap!

So get Slapped Happy today!

Slap Diet!

(“Slap the Crap out of You”, “Slap Diet”, “It’s Fun for You!  It’s Fun for Us!”, “It’s not just a Snap, it’s a Slap!” and “Slap Down that extra Pound!” are all pending Trademarks of DESFM LLC.  All interested parties are required to sign liability waivers absolving DESFM LLC and our Dietary Consulates from any responsibility, harm or permanent mental damage associated with any aspect of employment or participation in the Slap Diet Program.)


Force

An interesting question came up yesterday.

During a conversation with an associate I was asked to define Socialism.  And, then explain why I think it’s bad.

My response was “Force”.

The issue is not that Socialism is difficult to define but rather that so many people demonstrate the mindset through their actions while calling themselves various other things.  Socialists intentionally try to keep you, and themselves, confused… if they didn’t you would see them for what they are.

It became clear during this conversation that a simple rule would be useful because the left changes their names with regularity and impunity. They figured out long ago that when people understand who they are and what they really stand for, those people don’t like them. So the solution was to keep calling themselves something different… often. It adds up to a long list, from stealing the term “Liberal” to using words like Progressive. You’ll find them labeling themselves Democrats, Moderates, Social Democrats, Republicans and even, hilariously, “No Labels”.  I prefer “Statists” because it lumps them all together… it’s easier for me as I have few brain cells remaining.

It becomes humorous when you think about it… how disliked must you be to have so many names?  Well, criminals do this everyday.  Count the times have you’ve watched the news and the police are looking for a guy with fifteen different “AKA’s”?  Criminals, and Liberals, understand that a name follows you around and really gets in the way of doing bad things.  Can’t have that.

So how do we identify these people?
The very first question you should always ask yourself is… does this person advocate force to be used upon U.S. Citizens?

An easy example of the above is:

Ask yourself, is the government forcing me to buy… a bible, a first edition of Audacity of Hope or health insurance?  If so, the person advocating the force is a Socialist.  It doesn’t matter what they call themselves.

And, the law used to force you to do so is Socialist in nature and therefore extra-constitutional.  (OK Lefties – Car insurance does not apply here as you are not forced to buy a car… and even if you choose to, as long as it resides on your private property (say a ranch) you are not forced to have insurance for it.)

If you’re still not sure, then the second question is; does this person desire to use this force to “nudge” you to the “right” decision, in other words quicker than you might have arrived there on your own…  This is done because the Leftist wielding the force already knows (believes) their answer is the right one and you’re too inept to make the correct decision on yourself.

Some examples are skyrocketing gas prices forced upon us through Federal taxes, and a refusal to utilize our own natural resources, so we can get those cars that run on algae which we have all been dreaming about.  Or, forcing banks to lend you money even though you don’t have a job and you have a history of not paying your bills… this way you can have a house BEFORE you can afford it subsequently causing a GLOBAL financial meltdown.

It just doesn’t matter what the consequences are because these people are brilliant and full of only the best intentions… like forcing people to buy crappy fluorescent light bulbs from a company that donates millions of dollars to their campaign coffers.  Thank God we have such smart folks to take care of us stupid people…  it’s all for our own good.

It really is that simple and this “force” rule can be applied hundreds of times a day. Now that you realize this, you’ll be amazed on how it changes the way you see the world. You will also be amazed at the change in how you view people you previously thought you agreed with.

So instead of allowing yourself to succumb to the intentionally confusing and overwhelming number of names and supposed “good intentions” the Left hides behind, you now have an easy way to identify them and their behaviors immediately and clearly even through the denials.  When applied, this rule will identify those Socialists on both sides of the aisle.

In contrast, Free-Market Capitalism requires no force.  None.  All it requires is you making the decision you think is best for you.  Rugged Individualism takes into account that we are all in this together, but it allows YOU to determine if coming together as a group to accomplish a goal is the right thing for you to do… it does not allow for some other person to force you to come together  and accomplish a goal you disagree with but they think is the right one.

Make no mistake… there is a war going on.  It’s a battle between two very different governing theories… two very different Ideologies.

One is Collectivist in nature.  It’s a number of ideas that sound nice when said aloud but have a very long, sad history of oppression, poverty, death, destruction and failure.  It’s called Democratic Socialism. It’s Force.  The entirety of the Democrat Party, and many in the Republican Party promote this ideology through their actions while denying it to your face.  They work “around” the U.S. Constitution because it is anti-socialist by design.  They call it a “living, breathing document” or “outdated”.  Of course they do, it’s in the way.

The other theory is Enlightened and what this country was founded on.  It’s Liberty and Freedom of the Individual to choose.  It’s a Federal Government Limited by a Constitution.  It’s Free-Market Capitalism that protects not just the Individual, but the Economic health of all of us… together.  There are a few politicians promoting this ideology but their numbers are increasing as the citizens begin to actively pay attention.  With the Education of the population in regard to these two theories the voters find their way.  Sadly, the contrast is not being taught in our Government School System and must be sought out.

What should be understood is these two ideologies are mutually exclusive.  Compromise has no place here.  The fact that we have tried to compromise ( link to: Bipartisanshitt) over the last 100 years is exactly what has brought us to the fiscal cliff.  We have strayed far from our original intent.

It’s time to admit it, double back, and find the right path before it’s too late.

We are very close to “too late”.

(Originally posted 090612)


The Next Golda Meir?

From Eleanor Roosevelt to Golda?

Why does Mrs. Clinton always channel her inner Someone Else?  Because She must.

Aside from being a Devout Socialist, Hillary shares nothing with the other two… as much as she would like to think she does.

Hillary has no concept of the hardships both of the Other Women endured.  She has not had to face the trials, tribulations and overall difficulties the others experienced provided by their relationships and geopolitical periods in history.

Could it be that she is convincing herself she has… and is?

It seems to me Hillary has measured herself and found herself wanting.

She appears to realize what She “is” is simply not enough.  (Or may be it depends on what the meaning of “is” is…)

This would explain the references to Eleanor, the appearance of Golda and the Carny persona when in front of a crowd.

She desperately wants to rub off even a bit of the stature of these Icons for her own use.  But that’s never how it works.  You earn stature… you don’t steal it.  She’s not the first to try.

Years of Observation have demonstrated, The Clintons have never been good at being themselves… because being themselves requires a level of honesty absent of the couple.

Directly stated, Hillary is an Empty Pantsuit in comparison to the other Women.

The only question We have left to ask is:

Are We Ready for More of the Same?

 

 


The U.S. Senate Needs a Raise!

Darn it, those folks over in the Senate deserve a Raise!

They all work awful hard and We the People just don’t send them enough of our Money.

I willing to bet you need a raise too… so you can understand why They should get one.

But I think a there should be a deal between us, the U.S.Taxpayers, and the fine, honest, integrity filled Senators.

We will give them a Raise, albeit a small one, but a new dress code must go into effect immediately.

They must all dress as Clowns.

I’m willing to be flexible… they can pick any period, or class, they wish.  From Circus to Mime, Rodeo to UN Member.  Just as long as They’re dressed like Clowns at ALL times while Representing the Voters of their State.  (Which is really all the time… even when they’re asleep.)

Seems Fair.

Also truthful…

As Well as worth the price of a conservative wage increase.  I say that because the only thing we have been paying them to do is destroy Capitalism and Individual Freedom.  I just want something worthwhile in return this time.

I mean, it’s not like it’s Unprecedented.  The Brits do it to their Judges.  If you’ve never been to the Old Bailey it’s a must see.

Bloody Brilliant if you ask me!

Except I would mandate Face Paint…


“Ask” versus “Force”…

A Tax Day Special…

One of my favorite lines from Barack Obama is; “Is it Unreasonable to Ask the Rich to pay a little more?”

I like this line because I don’t disagree with the logical answer… “No.  It’s not unreasonable to ask.”  In fact, It’s perfectly reasonable to “Ask” anyone for anything.

But that is not what he is really saying… and it’s certainly not what his base hears.

What the President is saying here is; “Is it Unreasonable to Force the Rich to pay more?”

Yes, that is unreasonable.

“Asking” someone for something leaves them the ability to say “No”…  And Socialists simply cannot have that as an option.  Not to mention that money is nothing more than a representation of an individuals property.  We should each be incensed when the government takes our, or any individuals, property through force.  (By the way, the only reasonable system of income taxation is a “flat” one… but that’s for another day.)

The takeaway here is the Socialists must play word games in order to sell their ideas.

While this is a clear admission of the weakness inherent in those Socialist ideas, it will never be clear to the public unless the opposition points it out… regularly… endlessly.

The public Hates what the Socialists stand for when it is communicated clearly and concisely.  But our leaders do not attack such ideas in such a fashion.  I believe it’s because they too subscribe to such ideas and to attack them would only prevent them from practicing their own version of Socialism when they gain a position of power.

When the Democrats say there is a war inside the Republican party they are correct.  We should simply admit it, embrace it, and move on.  There is a war between establishment conservatives and fiscal conservatives (AKA Libertarian).  I fall in line with the fiscal conservatives.  I believe my government should spend LESS than it brings in every single minute of every single day.  At the same time, I expect my government to do more with less money just as you and I must do every minute of every day.  I also expect my government to strictly adhere to the United States Constitution as it is written and amended… with the only acceptable changes being made through the amendment process.  Seems simple enough.

The establishment argument is… “That’s just not how Washington works.”  My response is always… “Well, it would be if we all insisted on it”.  But we are not insisting on it.  And the majority of Republicans that now runs things are the problem… not the solution.  We must stop sending these establishment Republicans through the Primaries… that process is the only process in which we can defeat them.  Folks… It cannot be stressed enough, Primaries are incredibly important.  And right now is the time that candidates for 2014 are being chosen for those primaries… so start paying attention!

You must realize up front, It will take all of us decades to correct our course.

It will take all of us years of pointing out what seems so simple, such as our leaders using words to hide their intent like “Ask” vs. “Force”.

But if we wish to save the United States as it was founded and the Freedom of Choice with Unlimited Opportunity the protection of the Individual offers the world then we have no other option.  We must fight the battle every day… especially with those we think are on our side.

Our argument is a winner, we don’t need to play word games… we just need to elect those who actually believe it, not just say it when the camera is on.

It’s time to stop “asking” our leadership to represent our values… it’s time to “force” them to.  They cannot be allowed the option of saying “No”.


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