Give me a minute, I’m pouring a scotch.
So… I haven’t read the story yet in Newsweek, but I just don’t understand why a happy President would warrant the cover of a reputable news periodical.
Barack Obama is one of the most joyful leaders this country has ever had… on that I’m sure we can all agree. But I just can’t think he is the first. There must have been many.
Given the amazing amount of time and money he and his family spend uplifting their spirits, it is no surprise to me that he is glee-full. I mean being President is pretty cool! You get to fly around in your own jet… so does your wife… so does the dog… You can smoke all you want and the press doesn’t hassle you… You get to eat cheeseburgers and fries with communists… You get to spend all our money, and all of our future money, making everything better…
Heck, you even get to have a Nobel Peace Prize for… well… nothing. You did nothing. That is so cool! No wonder you feel Gay! Who wouldn’t?
So I say; “You be as gay as you can be Mr. President!”
Get out there and get all sweaty and excited playing basketball with those big, muscular, professional NBA friends of yours. Spend as much time as you can late at night in the houses of Hollywood celebrities doing whatever Hollywood celebrities do late at night… in their houses.
Celebrate your diversity like you did with that made-up girlfriend in your book and catch a broadway musical! I’ve heard nothing can make you feel gayer than memorizing the words to the songs!
Because, the last thing this country needs is a pouting president.
So keep that frown upside down… and go get’m tiger!
I finished my scotch.