Keep them Closed!

It’s always fun for me to take an opposing view point… so here we go.

Keep the Public Schools Closed.

Forever.

One of the best things we can for this Amazing, Glorious, Miracle of Self Government is to keep the Schools Closed permanently. When you hear Leftists lament that we cannot afford to have our children out of their control for one minute longer, it should be a cause for pause.

I would offer the best thing you can do for your children, and the rest of us, is to keep them at home and away from our Institutes of Indoctrination. I’m willing to concede that some of you may not be proficient at certain subjects, but what you do know is more than your kids get at school. If you’re not aware, there are actually classes for ADULTS called “Adulting”. These classes teach your ADULT children how to do things like buy groceries, change a tire, tie a tie, cook and egg, balance a check book, wash the dishes, do laundry, mow the lawn, bathe… etc, etc. It’s an indictment of all of us. Keeping them home would, at a minimum, teach them how a home is run. It would also save us from having to deprogram them before they turn into (oddly obese or oddly still skateboarding) Bomb Throwers for Marxists. It’s a Win-Win!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating your potentially precious bundle Socialist Disaster should be denied an education. I just think it should come from you… first. Then if you want to sign them up for online courses (from home) that would be terrific. I don’t care so much about the teachers having to earn their pay by teaching courses online for a fee. Why? Because the possibility of their being monitored, or better yet recorded, by a parent goes up 100% thus decreasing the chances they feel safe enough to push their Hegelian World View on our kids. If they chose to continue doing so it would make for great parent teacher meetings and even better Television. Wouldn’t it be fun to whip your phone out and just keep hitting the rewind on their latest Anti-Capitalist Diatribe on the highest volume setting? Over and over and over…

So Keep them Home. Have the Teachers teach remotely and up the class size… like the rest of us have to do in our jobs everyday, every month, every year. Save your kids from a dystopian future, the next plague and the soft slavery of socialism.

I hear you… “But Mike, But Mike,, who’s going to babysit my kids during the day?” I don’t know. Buy a dog? (not a cat, cats are terrible chaperons) Stop seeing Public Education as the “Publicly Funded Babysitter” which is what got us here in the first place? Stay Home like you’re doing now and make a living?! Here’s a suggestion, have your children master their brand new skill set like doing laundry and mowing the yard, etc? It would be the perfect time to teach them how to cook a bowl of cereal for themselves and wash the dishes afterward. You might even learn something… weird, right? You could end up learning your kids names without having to stop and think about it! Crazy!

And, of course, we should demand the return of our taxpayer dollars that kept the hallowed halls of Socialist thought successfully producing the worst of us. If your kids are going to end up Mini Marxist Tyrants like ANTIFA and BLM, I would prefer they do it with your permission and your dime. I already blame you (you know who you are), but all plausible deniability needs to be removed… completely.