The Drunken Monkey

Since it has been made Public that Your Tax Dollars, via the Federal Government, subsidize my Drinking…

I thought it might be time to remind everyone Who I Am.

A Self Portrait.

I took the above Selfie just now.  I’ve been told that I need to establish a personal connection with people. So where better to start than right here.  Sure… I had other shots…  but Most of them were either taken be various Law Enforcement Agencies or show me in a less dignified light.  (For those of you who have seen me passed out naked in the front lawn, I’m Sorry.  As you folks can understand, I didn’t think it appropriate to subject anyone else to images that can never be genuinely scrubbed from one’s psyche.)

Some of my Favorite things are Long Slow walks on the Beach… and the Crystal Blue Water close to the Equator.  Hammering on my Keyboard.  Eating with Friends.  Elk Boxing.   Audrey Hepburn… not so much Katherine.  Watching the Sun Rise just before bed.  None of which I enjoy sober.

I rarely wear clothes, but when I do it’s always something unusual.  I lean towards Small Fez-like hats and the occasional Red Vest.

I’ve always wanted to be able to Fly.

I value a Strong, Disciplined sense of Situational Morality and Ethics.  It all depends on the Situation…

My Favorite colors are whatever you’re Eating.  And I want it.

My Drinking makes everybody else better.

I have two brain cells left… and they fight.

My favorite person is my lovely wife…  her least favorite person is me.  It keeps the Universe in balance.

I know what a call list is… bourbon, scotch, vodka, gin, rum, tequila.  And all should be had in that order daily.

I am the Me in Team.  I also like to Eat Meat and Mate.

I generally hate people.  It’s kind of where I start when establishing a relationship.

I hope you all now feel closer to me.

I know I feel closer to you.

OK, may be not.

– Mike

(I’m also flashing you in my picture!  Too late, you already looked.  Ha!  I know it’s not very big… but as our family crest says in Latin; If you don’t like cute you wont like us.  But it works just fine for me.)

(Originally posted 091214)

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“You Already Got Your Tax Increases…”

“…And All of us Feel it.”

(I’m bringing this post back because we’re all about to submit our 2013 taxes.  Most of us will see our taxes go up.  While certain Establishment Republicans are actively trying to negate the Sequester cuts which were the only element of fiscal responsibility to have occurred in the past 10 years.  I just want you all to think about the additional money you’ll be sending to Washington while Washington tries to protect Their ability to Waste it.)

This should be the only sentence spoken for the next week by Republicans.  (It was not….)

No matter what defense is offered up by the Liberals, the above line should be repeated by every Conservative who jumps in front of a camera.

We should also demand that sequester happens.  Simple.

For those of you who are afraid of the mandatory “cuts” because they may effect Defense… I will remind you that Money is Fungible.

FUNGIBLE

Definition

fun·gi·ble

[ fúnjəb’l ]

ADJECTIVE 

1. tradable under contract: describes commodities that can be traded or substituted for an equal amount of a like commodity, usually to satisfy a contract

NOUN 

fun·gi·bles

plural

1. something traded or substituted: a commodity that is fungible   (    often used in the plural   )   

[ Late 17th century. <  medieval Latin fungibilis <  Latin fungi “perform” ]

fun·gi·bil·i·ty NOUN

What this means is that money can be moved around by the agencies from other programs deemed less important by Defense Administrators.  Don’t be fooled… yes the cuts may be “across the board”, but they do not prevent those in charge from moving money around to Preserve/Save those programs and operations they believe to be integral to our security.

They will scream.  They will Cry.  They will Stomp their Feet.

They will tell you that the Sky will fall, the Terrorists will win and Global Warming will kill us all.

But you must understand… they will act as if the world is ending because their budgets WILL be cut.  (Think about a  child who has ten lollipops and you take one away… it will scream bloody murder and cry for days.  Similarly, once the Government has your money it believes it’s theirs to be wasted as they see fit.)

Don’t fall for this Artificial Emergency.

Let me ask you, Isn’t a government that pays attention to how it wastes our money what we all want?

Well this is just a start.  (Yes, I would have preferred to begin with out of control entitlements but this will have to do.  I’m no fan of waste whether it’s entitlements or defense… or anywhere else.)

So let it go…  don’t succumb to the hype… and remind everyone you see that they are paying more in taxes even though they thought their “friends” in Washington were only going to “hurt” the rich… Surprise!  Then let them know their “friends” want to make it even worse.  And remind them that all of this was Obama’s idea.  Then, remind them that “Yes We Can, Cut our Way to Prosperity!  Yes We Can!”  Just like they do at home… and are having to do right now, now that their taxes are going up thanks to the people they voted for.

For once he should be a victim of his own bad ideas… even though it’s not the worst idea, and certainly not the one I would choose for him to be a victim of.  I would probably start with a little redistribution sprinkled with Obama Care finished with a heavy dose of “Fairness” as defined by me.  Anyway…

This is one of those times when the best thing to do is nothing.

Because… “The Democrats already got their tax increases.”

(Originally posted 020813)