Tag Archives: UN

When Clowns Attack…

We are being assaulted by Creepy Clowns!

It’s True. There have been reports all over the United States, particularly in the Northeast, that Clowns are trying to lure innocents into the woods with promises of free candy only to do nefarious things to them.

Indeed… the United Nations is back in town.

(Is it a metaphor, or isn’t it?)


Flash 101514!

UN Finds New Purpose!

Schlock and Blah

For those of you who have not been paying attention to this latest episode of No Boots on the Ground (Kinda) let me point something out.

In an unprecedented breach, multiple Generals have come forward to criticize the Obama Administration’s approach to ISISISILALQEADA in the Middle East.

This happened three days ago… just before the bombing started.

It takes weeks to create a plan to bomb Bad Guys.  So these Men who came forward had knowledge of the Presidents Plan for Syria, and Iraq, yet came forward ANYWAY.

This can mean only one thing.

These Military Professionals do not believe the bombing of large sandy areas will do anything meaningful to our supposed enemies.  These Men knew what was afoot, and know it is political posturing lacking substance.  They know from experience that you cannot destroy an Idea from the air.

It will however make for fun video of bright rocket launches taken at night and large explosions.

And, this will provide ample opportunity for the White House to make frequent trips to the closest podium and hope the networks interrupt their current programming with their empty, undefined and intentionally difficult to understand statements.

All crafted as a cheap way to get the U.S. Masses to feel placated.  If things go south… will we hear a demand to put journalists on the ground to ‘cover the human toll’ war ravaged countries endure?  Flag draped coffins anyone?  With a Progressive Liberal in Office?  Of course not.

But then again, this is the Smartest Man to have ever been President.  He must know what he’s doing… in all things.

So maybe, unlike Bill Clinton’s Tomahawk Diplomacy, this bombing will be a brilliant solution none of us ‘unwashed’ are intelligent enough to understand.

I’ve been wrong before.

But let me ask… Why did we Leave?

That Stupid Ignorant Cowboy…

…Is sending our young Men and Women to War over Oil!

No Blood for Oil!  No Blood for Oil!  No Blood for Oil!

What?  Wait… Who?

Huh? This is Not about Oil? So What’s it about? Oh, right, the Common Evil thing. Sure. Got it.

Oh?… oh, oh?… just a second.

Ok… Sorry.

The Nobel Peace Prize Winning, Smartest Man to have ever held the Office of President of the United States… a Clean, Articulate, Black Man who has no Negro Dialect unless he wants to have one, has just launched a Humanitarian Effort to Stop the Common Evil in the Middle East.



So is Oil the Common Evil?



ISIL? Who?

The Islamic State in the Levant? Who the Hell is that?  What’s a Levant?

Right…. right… OK, sure… ok…

So the Levant is an area in the Middle East…  got it… but…

Iran is an Islamic State, right? What about all the other Islamic States?

They’re good the good guys?

Wait… huh?

Fine… whatever.

All I know is the Greatest President Ever has this all under control. And this is a War for all the right reasons… because the Enlightened Progressive Liberals are in charge of it. If something bad happens it will be the Stupid, Ignorant Cowboy George Bush’s Fault.

God George Bush was Stupid! Right?!  I mean What an Idiot!  Runnin’ around the world shootin’ people and blowin’ stuff up… what a Clown.

Hey…. What do all those bombs do to the climate?




Runaway Speculation…

Since once again we are witnessing runaway speculation regarding what has happened in Boston, I ask if any of the media will hold those who said outrageous things accountable for their comments?

I am a HUGE supporter on the First Amendment. I believe that idiots have an absolute right to say whatever they wish. However, they do not have the right to stand unquestioned or un-confronted by their own words… or, for that matter, un-offended by our outrage because of their remarks. This rule particularly applies to our elected officials.

Politicians have a microphone, read amplifier, to get their stupidity out to the nation as quickly as possible. They also have willing accomplices in the media who stand poised to use the next tragedy to demonize those they disagree with.

I will watch hopefully that these fools are called out publicly by their peers for their latest iteration of foolish behavior.

There is no better time to fire up the Lexus-Nexus and apply the Power of Shame.  If we don’t, this behavior by those we rely on for “facts” will never stop.

What happened in Boston is horrible. Those who wish to jump in front of the facts and indict ideologies they oppose as the underlying cause are equally as horrible.

We don’t know the “why”. Chris Mathews does not know the “why”. Socialist Representatives do not know the “why”. Bill O’Reilly does not know the “why”.

It could be anyone from a National Socialist (Nazi) to a Theocrat (Islamo-Fascist). An Eco-Terrorist (ELF) to North Korea (Un). You don’t know. I don’t know.

But while we’re all distracted by irresponsible conjecture, the boatload of bad ideas is still chugging through the House and Senate.

Gun Control, Amnesty, Gold Crashing and Fiscal Suicide…

If I have to get an extra TV, that’s what I’ll do to pay attention to ALL OF IT.

This is a perfect time to start deciding who you can trust… judged by their prognostication.  If their wrong, you should think about putting your trust in another giant talking head.


Make an Effort.

Modern Languages

While we have all been paying attention to the presidential debates this week, the UN has been very busy indeed.  Between the Middle East Melt Down, Syria and Turkey, Iran and North Korea the Evil West’s ears should be burning.

So… with limited time before my sobriety subsides…

Today’s Modern Language lesson will be in North Korean.

(I’m not sure how many of you speak North Korean, but if you do, feel free to skip ahead where comfortable.)

North Korean is a unique language, beautiful in its flow and tonal value.  When you are subject to it, becoming completely lost is not uncommon.  So let’s explore this treasure of the Pacific.

North Korean representative Pak Kil Yon addressed the United nations with an important message.

“Today, due to the continued U.S. hostile policy towards the DPRK…[and] the vicious cycle of confrontation and aggravation of tension is an ongoing phenomenon on the Korean peninsula, which has become the world’s most dangerous hotspot where a spark of fire could set off a thermonuclear war.”

(I realize most of you will have trouble with the pronunciations and subtle nuances of foreign languages, but don’t get discouraged, I can help with the translation and you guys can work on the intonation at home in your free time.)

Translation of the above quote: “Send Food!”

I know what you’re thinking… but just like the Germans, the North Koreans seems to use far too much verbage to make a simple statement.  It’s part of the charm.

Here is another quote we can work on;

“The only way to prevent war and ensure lasting piece on the Korean peninsula is to put an end to the U.S. hostile policy towards the DPRK.”

I’ll give you folks a few minutes to work on this one by yourselves……….

OK.  Got it?  Right! Very Good!

“Send Food or We’ll Kill You!”

See?  North Korean really isn’t that difficult.

If any of you are interested in trying to translate the entire speech, you can find it on the internet.  But we’ve completed the heavy lifting with the above translations.  It’s fascinating to note the apparent attitude of ‘enable us to continue oppressing our people or we’ll start a war” feeling you get from these quotes.  While it’s possible to misinterpret tone when performing these types of translations, we have a long history working with North Korean to know this is exactly the tone they wish to convey.  It’s such a lovely culture.  I hope you appreciate it as much as I do.

Next week: Iranian



Yesterday at the United Nations…

Benjamin Netanyahu puts it in terms the 47% of the U.S. Electorate, the majority of the world and some of the UN delegates can understand.