Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Before we get started, I want to offer a quick public service announcement;
The Best Thing about Green Beer is Green Vomit.
Seriously… that’s the Best Thing.
So do yourself a favor and stick with the Guinness. (And liters of Black Bush if you’re anything like me.)
OK, back to the post.
Now that we’re coming up on the Second of the Drinking Holiday’s, Mardi Gras being First and Cinco de Mayo rounding out the Season… (I know Memorial Day is big in the South. It’s when they ‘officially’ open up the lakes, rivers and pools, for public injury.) we have to remind ourselves to sober up just enough to get through Easter Dinner. Your mother will be disappointed if you sleep through the entire meal, so Drink Responsibly.
For those of you who do not have an Easter Dinner to attend, you’ll enjoy our Drinking Game.
It’s called Leprechaun Stomping. (I’m sure there is some kind of bigotry here, but until someone clarifies it for me I’m keeping this tradition alive. At least I didn’t call it the Washington Redskins Stomping…)
Given we’ve been drinking non-stop since Mardi Gras we should be primed and ready for today’s game.
You’ll need a friend to keep score. You cannot keep score yourself… if you don’t have any friends ask the person closest to you. Proximity is a great substitute for friendship.
The object is to Stomp on Leprechaun’s. I know this sounds easy… but it’s far more difficult than you might think.
What makes it hard is you can only see Leprechaun’s out of the corner of your eye… so be careful… if you can see the Leprechaun by staring directly at him Don’t Stomp! He is Not a Leprechaun! He could be just some short guy in a green outfit… but he is certainly Not A Leprechaun. If your still unsure, approach very slowly, Grab and Yank His Ear. If you can do this He is Not a Leprechaun. Do Not Stomp. (This Maneuver is called “Grab and Yank”. It has Many Meanings in a number of different countries, so be cautious when and where you use it. Sometimes the Meaning is Good, sometimes not so much.)
Important Things to keep in Mind;
Leprechauns Show Up in Groups.
Leprechauns Hide Behind Things.
Leprechauns will not notice you if you are yelling Stuff in Gaelic. (You can even yell things that sound remotely close to Gaelic… that’s what I do. It seems to work.)
Here’s another tip…
Leprechauns leave behind a Very Faint Residue once Stomped. But, It can only be Tasted with the Tip of your Tongue. You will find It on the Bottom of your Shoe, or Boot, as well as on the Bar Floor where you Stomped Him. This will come in handy if there is an argument with your “friend” over the legitimacy of the Stomp.
Leprechauns Will Run! If you are New to the Game, A Few Beers into the Game, or just slow, you’ll be chasing the Leprechauns. But don’t worry, you’ll get better… or not.
Leprechauns will come out the More you Drink. If Multiple people are Playing, this Tip could be to your Advantage.
Leprechauns are in Endless Supply. As Long as You’re Playing, They’ll be There.
Those are the Basics.
For the Advanced Players a few extra hints from our Pro’s:
Once you think you see a Leprechaun out of the corner of your eye you have to start stomping quickly.
You need to put a reasonable amount of Force into your Stomp as Leprechauns don’t go down easily.
After you’ve Stomped on your Leprechaun you must immediately turn to your “friend” for a Ruling and Current Score. Both of These are to be loudly Shouted Out for all those Playing to Hear. (Warning: There have been many a fight associated with this aspect of the Game. “Friends” sometimes fail to give you credit for your Leprechaun… Sometimes they lose interest in your efforts… Sometimes they just don’t want to play… Sometimes they’re not really “friends” and they make-out with your girlfriend and eat your food in the fridge and drink your beer and drive your car but never put gas in it. But that’s not how it works. In Fine Irish Tradition You get to choose who your “friend” is and They Have to Play. However, after a Fight the rules state you can pick a new “friend” if you want. This often depends on the Size and Strength of your Previous Choice.)
If you spill your Beer you Lose a Leprechaun. Don’t do this. This is kind of a Life Rule.
All right Folks!
Get out There and Play… Today is the Day.