Tag Archives: Psaki

“Send Them Your Heads!”

Seeing a Clear Need for a new, more nuanced, Radical Muslim Outreach Campaign, the Obama Administration will be offering a way for the American Public to get behind efforts already being employed.

What will be considered a supplement to Destroying our relationship with Israel, Arming ISIS with Stinger missiles, staying out of ISIS’ way in Middle East and promising a Nuclear Iran, The Obama Administration is crafting a new program called “Send Them Your Heads!”.

The motivation behind this latest taxpayer-funded Muslim Outreach Effort is to allow ISIS, and all of their affiliates, time to work on issues State Department officials deem important in the Middle East like physical, educational and political infrastructure improvements as well as Job Creation. It has been estimated, by all economists everywhere, a Single Minute saved by not having to Set on Fire, Throw off buildings, Stone and Behead Infidels results in a Full Hour of productivity that can be applied to ‘other things’.

If you’re interested in participating in this Outreach Campaign, please contact your local Post Master for packaging and shipping details. (Cost may vary depending on size, weight and distance to recipient.  DHS has also advised participants that having a partner to assist you will be important, and if you cannot find assistance in completing the process they, DHS personnel, will be happy to help.  DHS officials also stated that there is no need to wait for the Administration to get this program approved, and funded, as they expect resistance from the Republican Controlled ‘Do Nothing’ Congress. They have some shipping materials available and will provide them at no cost to qualified applicants.)

According to the issued Press Release, The White House is proud to be promoting the new initiative with the blessings of domestic Muslim advocacy groups in addition to representatives from ISIS, ISIL, IS, Al Qaeda and a number of Iraqi and Syrian ‘community’ organizations among the other Partners in Peace Coalition.

The release also states “Send Them Your Heads!” will be exclusively administered by the Department of Homeland Security and The United States Post Office and will be limited to Legal U.S. citizens only.

When we contacted DHS officials for comment, it was stressed the overall message they wanted to convey is the “Importance of Getting along with those who are different from us. We are all citizens of the World.”

In response to our e-mail inquiry, Postal Representatives claimed to have no knowledge of this new program but stated the importance of following shipping guidelines for human remains.  They said they would prefer packing to be complete prior to participants reaching the postal centers, and guidelines were available at USPS.com for download.

So if you’re one of us, asking yourself “What Can I Do to Make them Like Me?”

Now there’s a way.

(Note: One of the economists we spoke with explained the added benefit to the U.S. unemployment number that will be realized by tangibly removing individuals from the work force. Administration officials declined to comment only giving us a ‘thumbs up’ while holding a poorly drawn sign which stated “#Sendthemyourhead”.)

(022615)


#Pleasedonotshootdown commercialairliners

In an apparent state of barely contained rage the White House has initiated what could be considered nothing less than an all out assault on the Kremlin. A New Hashtag Campaign has been issued with authority:

#Pleasedonotshootdowncommercialairliners

During this morning’s press conference President Obama also made demands that the ‘evidence’ of the downed flight full of civilians not be ‘tampered with’. And to make sure this does not happen the White House has dispatched the most capable members of the IRS’ IT Department.

According to a classified source close to the event the latest communications intercept after the President’s Press Conference have been inconclusive. According to our source; “We have not been able to discern how the International Community is receiving the President’s message. We have experienced what seems to be a technical glitch in the NSA collection of data and communications. For the last hour all of our intercept sounds like laughing, followed by gasping for air and then more laughing. We are working on the problem and hope to have something more substantive available shortly.”

In a related story, it is rumored the White House is working on several new hashtag offensives.

#Stopcomingacrosstheborderillegallyjustbecauseyougettostayandwewillgiveyoufreestuff

#Theeconomyisrecoveringtheeconomyisrecoveringtheeconomyisrecovering

#Bringbackourcredibility

#Iamnotasocialist

and

#Wearethegovernmentandweareheretohelp

In an attempt to confirm these new, what some may call brave, initiatives State Department Spokesperson Psaki held up a sign with the words ‘Tweet Tweet Tweet’ and gave us a thumbs up.

While we had the Spokesperson’s attention we asked if she might know what the President’s response will be to Israel’s move into Gaza.  Ms. Psaki referred us to the White House Spokesperson for an official statement but didn’t think it would be available for several days because she didn’t believe the President has had an opportunity to watch the news recently.


Unleash the Dogs of Diplomacy!

There is War in Ukraine and people are losing their Lives!
The United States has an Obligation to Confront the Death and Destruction being inflicted upon Innocents in the most severe way possible…

Flood the Russian Internet and Cell Phones with Selfies!

DO IT NOW!

Broadcast John Kerry Speeches all across the Russian Steppes!

NO HUMAN COULD ENDURE SUCH A HEINOUS SHOW OF FORCE!

Overwhelm the Russian Postal System with Sternly Worded Letters Stating the Obvious!

NO ADMINISTRATION IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES HAS BEEN MORE CAPABLE OF SUCH AN ACTION!

Drop Leaflets all across the Baltic Region explaining what a success Obama Care really is!

IT CONFUSES US AND SHOULD DO THE SAME TO THEM!

Send in the Bureau of Land Management Commando’s!

ANYTHING TO SLOW THEM DOWN!

Throw a Beer Summit!

FINE… MAKE IT VODKA!

Use exclamation points at the end of every sentence!

DRAW LITTLE PEACE SIGNS OVER YOUR “i’s”!

Psaki should be good at that, let her handle it.

AND, NOTHING SAYS “I MEAN IT” LIKE AN EXCLAMATION POINT!

I beg you, the World begs you, please DO SOMETHING!

There is NO time to waste…

For the love of all that’s Holy… or whatever non-religious thing you think fits here… Do it!


A Little Riddle

You have a Problem with how we Serve.

You ask questions with some nerve,

But No Matter how Big or how Small

a Lie says it All.

Because we think it’s all you Deserve.

What am I?


Can these People Stand for Anything? Ever?

State Dept. Spokeswoman Refuses to Criticize Iran for Excluding Women Candidates from Election

“We want this [election] to be free and fair. There’s a lot of ways to, of course, define that.”

2:01 PM, May 20, 2013 • By DANIEL HALPER

State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki refused to criticize Iran for excluding women candidates from the upcoming “election” there. The remarkable exchange, which concludes with Psaki saying this (“We want this [election] to be free and fair. There’s a lot of ways to, of course, define that.”) happened at Friday’s press briefing.

QUESTION: Jen, can I change the subject? It would seem that in Iran the Guardians Council, which is vetting the candidates for the upcoming elections next month, have decided and have ruled that women cannot contest, they cannot stand as candidates. I wondered what the United States reaction is to that, considering that 50 person of the population in Iran is women – are women.

MS. PSAKI: Well, we don’t take positions on any candidates, as you know, and we hope that the upcoming elections will be free, fair, and transparent and will represent the will of the Iranian people. So we wouldn’t weight into decisions made by the government. Of course, broadly, we hope that women around the world participate in politics and elected office, but beyond that I don’t think I have anything specific for you.

QUESTION: Taking the word “fair” – if you’re being fair, it would seem to exclude 50 percent of the population from an election, would already mean that it is not a fair election.

MS. PSAKI: Well, we don’t weigh in on to the candidates and the candidates that are chosen through the process in Iran. Of course, of course, broadly speaking we do want women to participate in elections around the world and rise up in elected office.

QUESTION: Just not in Iran?

MS. PSAKI: I’m not suggesting that, Arshad. I’m just suggesting that we leave it to the process that happens in Iran for them to pick their candidates.

QUESTION: But I mean why – it seems astounding that this Department – I mean, what if they decided to exclude, as this country once did, not merely women but black people? Would that be acceptable to you? That’s just their choice; they do it any way they want and you’re not going to stand up for democratic rights?

MS. PSAKI: I think we pretty broadly stand up for democratic rights from this building.

QUESTION: Just not for Iranian women, apparently.

MS. PSAKI: That’s not at all what I was conveying. I think there are two separate issues here. Of course, we want women to participate in processes around the world, whether that is participating in voting or being elected to office. Of course.  More specifically, in terms of how candidates are selected, we don’t weigh in on specific candidates, of course, as the Government of Iran is picking them. But broadly, yes, we would like women to be participating at every level.

QUESTION: Including in Iran?

MS. PSAKI: Including around the world.

QUESTION: But – no but —

QUESTION: This is not a process. This is a clear case of gender discrimination, no? Isn’t that a difference between a vetting procedure and just saying, “All women no”? I mean, you’ve got to take a stand on something like that.

MS. PSAKI: Again, Brad, I think I made pretty clear – I don’t know that I have much more to add – that of course we have long supported women being elected to office in the United States and around the world and participating in the process. We want this to be free and fair. There’s a lot of ways to, of course, define that. But again, we don’t select or play a role in selecting who the candidates are. We can take a look through the process, and happy to comment once it’s completed.

Psaki is a veteran of the Obama campaign.

Full Weekly Standard Article Here.

Sounds pretty “progressive” doesn’t it?

What do you think we would be hearing from MSNBC, or say The Huffington Post should this have been 2005?  Why does it seem impossible for this Administration to present morally clear positions on anything?

This simple answer… as it should always be… is “We Always support the FULL participation of every individual when it comes to their government.  This includes being able to participate in the electoral process as well as seeking elected office.  While one day we wish that for them, we are not Iran.”

It could have been that easy.  At least it would have been for me.  However, when everything is relative and truth depends on who you ask and their personal opinion, it is almost impossible.  Which is exactly how Progressives want it.  It makes being the Decider of what is “Free and Fair” an extremely powerful position to be in.