(A Quick Translation of today’s (4/17/14) White House Press Conference conducted by President Obama…)
Obama Care is Working Unbelievably Well!
It Works because I say it does.
It now has 8 Million enrollees because I say so. Yeah… We made that number up, So What? What the Hell are You going to do about it? That’s what I thought!
Health Care costs are going down… even though they’re going up. I say that because just like your taxes and the stupid National Debt, “Going Down” means not going up as fast as we decided it was… whenever that was… which means Obama Care is Doing Exactly what it was designed to do because I’m telling you so.
Those few Republicans who want it Repealed have offered no alternatives… because I believe the 20+ alternatives offered were not anything worth considering as far as I’m concerned because they were alternative to my kick-butt and should be Nobel prize-winning overhaul of Medicine. You’re welcome.
Nobody is losing their coverage because Harry Reid made a clear case that they’re all liars. I believe him.
It doesn’t matter that the majority of those who signed up haven’t paid. Why should they have to pay for anything? It just isn’t fair.
I declare Obama Care to be Terrific… and there is a consensus of people I know who agree with me, so the debate is over.
You’re not losing your Doctors or your Plans. You’re not. You’re not, you’re not, you’re not!
It all means whatever I say it means.
The Success is settled.
The Obama Care Deniers should move on.
And, All Democrats should run on the Profound Success I’m saying Obama Care is.
Oh yeah… The Russians are not really invading Ukraine and there’s nothing going on in Venezuela that concerns me unless they threaten to become a Capitalist Country based on Limited Government and Free Market Principles. But don’t worry, we’ll keep a close watch for when it looks like it might happen… and we’ll stop it.
And in case you missed the first part, Obama Care kicks ass!
Blah, blah, blah…
Because I say so.
So Shut Up.
All of you.