Whoa! Someone Alert the Military!

And High School Football Coaches Nationwide!

Yelling at Children is as Harmful as Beating Them

NORTH TEXAS (CBS 11 NEWS) – How to discipline or punish children is always a hot topic. Questions always arise over what is effective and when is the line crossed? Yelling, shouting, and raising your voice…may feel natural. But a new study says those actions should only be used to get a child’s attention. The study, done at the University of Pittsburgh, argues that those practices equate with spanking.

Many North Texas parents agree that yelling is a bad idea. At the Jumpstreet Indoor Trampoline Park in North Dallas, Chelsea Lopker watched as her 20-month-old son, Donovan, played in a miniature fire truck. “He loves fire trucks,” she said. But when faced with doing something he doesn’t love, Donovan can be a handful. And, yes—mom sheepishly admitted—sometimes she yells. “ I don’t like to do it and I definitely feel guilty on the occasions it does happen.”

Chelsea and her circle of friends—other mothers her age—don’t believe in spankings or other forms of corporal punishment; and don’t approve of shouting, either. “Personally, I’m against it; I don’t like to do it, I think it teaches your children to shout back at you,” she told CBS 11 News.

The approach she and her friends use is a bit different. “Just taking the time to be patient and explain and talk with them [children] and help them understand what behavior you expect from them and also exhibiting the type of behavior that you want from them is really what we do,” she explained, adding, “I just try to stay calm in the moment and I try to explain and rationalize and have him sit down. One of the tools we do is I ask him to sit down and be patient.”

Licensed marriage and family therapist Melody Brooke agrees about not using physical or verbal punishment. “They aren’t really forms of discipline, they’re really trying to get control back on a child that you feel is out of control,” she said.

Brooke reared five children of her own. She says while yelling and spankings may be counterproductive, they’re also instinctive behaviors that adults themselves must learn to control. And it’s not always easy. “I have to say I have yelled at my kids,” she relates, “ And I regret it every time because it doesn’t work! Just taking the time to be patient and explain and talk with them and help them understand what behavior you expect from them and also exhibiting the type of behavior that you want from them is really what we do.”

Brooke believes that the old saying about taking a deep breath and counting to 10… really works. “The first thing you have to do when you start to feel out of control, when your kids have gotten the upper hand, is take a deep breath. Count to ten. Because you have to get yourself back under control if you’re going to be effective as a parent and then you can make a logical choice about what to do.”

Unfortunately, it doesn’t get any easier as kids age, either. That same University of Pittsburgh study suggests that yelling, cursing, or using insults, may be just as detrimental to the long-term well being of adolescents—as physical abuse. (Emphasis Mine)

Holy Crap… Looks like we need a dose of “Kinder and Gentler”.

Considering you’re a Child in the United States until your 26th Birthday…

Does it make up for it if you read to them before lights out?  DI’s tell such Beautiful Bedtime stories…

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Every Man a SEAL?

After reading a comment by Astronaut Mark Kelly speaking on behalf of SEAL Team 6 Alumni stating the arming of schools to be ridiculous, something struck me.  (Yes, it struck me as odd Commander Kelly would speak for SEAL’s instead of “all” the Astronauts… but whatever.)

What struck me is that everyone seems to be either a Marine or a member of SEAL Team 6.

It has reached the level of bizarre.

Let me preface these comments by saying that in my view these men are super-human. They are exceptional in ways almost all of us will never comprehend.

That being said… not everyone is a member of SEAL Team 6. Nor is every member not serving on SEAL Team 6 a Marine. (Not that being a Marine prohibits one’s membership on a Team.  Anyway…)

We have an extraordinary number of specialized troops in all the branches who see combat at the tip of the spear… among other places.

We also have a number of Specialized Marine Units… as we do SEAL Teams 1-5 and 7-?.

While I love that our troops enjoy the positive press I believe they deserve… I’m tired of the marketing push that has the public thinking we have two branches of the Service… the SEAL’s and the Marines.

In fact we have Green Beret’s, PJ’s, Rangers, Force Recon, SEAL’s and many others.  (Forgive me if I left you out… you know who you are.)  In supposition we have a number other individual and cooperative teams.  This doesn’t even begin to address other foreign service departments such as CIA, NSA, DIA etc.

No… I’m not a disgruntled Ranger chowing on sour grapes.

Actually, I’m a Fan of the Rumsfeld Doctrine… which has been a top down revision of how the U.S. views world conflict since WWII and has been embraced by Presidents Bush and Obama alike.  This Doctrine necessarily requires many specialized war fighters with greater flexibility and mobility than the traditional “2 Major War” doctrine allowed.  (Read: Learning to Eat Soup with a Knife which this doctrine is based upon.)  This “new approach” has made a large number of Generals whose power and prestige was based on the amount of men and material they controlled very upset.  It’s worth noting that Bush was endlessly hammered regarding Rumsfeld’s approach to the military… yet we hear nothing about Obama’s identical embrace of Rumsfeld… He’s still at the Pentagon…  Are those crickets I hear?

My point is that there are a number of very interesting groups of people out there doing things most of us cannot comprehend.  (When I say you can’t comprehend it… you cannot comprehend it.  Seriously.  We have all done things we consider extreme, but you cannot understand.  There is a reason some of these guys have earned the nick-name Jedi Knights.)  And, we would all be better for sending a little credit their way once in while.

And now the REAL point…

Once we learn a little about our military we can then address why the State Department feels they need their own heavily armed paramilitary force, which it has been building for over 5-years now…

It’s worth asking.  Because it brings us back to Benghazi… and where are the survivors… you didn’t know there were survivors?  Surprise.

Where is the Testimony from those in the State Department who had a finger on any rescue effort.  Why have we adopted a policy that demonstrates to the world that we don’t care if you kill our diplomats?  Not only do we not care, we’ll remove any reasonable protection of them to assist in their demise, because we don’t want to appear “hostile”…. yet build a brand new, unique, army answerable only to the State Dept… only to not be used.

All I’m asking is for all of us to make an effort to know a little more about those we profess to admire… and every once in a while ask “I wonder what SEAL Team 2 is doing?” or “How are the PJ’s holding up?” or “What the hell is the State Department doing and why?”.

Cheers to all of those doing what I cannot, or will not, do on my behalf!

Thank you.

Except the State Dept. at the moment… I’m a little upset with what’s going on over there.  Good thing they don’t write my check.