Slut-Shaming Trump…

Fine… it’s time to deal with this.

On the heels of yet more shots of Melania Trump resurfacing (they weren’t exactly hidden), combined with the fact this issue has come up in a recent comment as something ‘mean’ a Ted Cruz PAC did to The Donald in Utah, it is clear there needs to be some Drunken Monkey perspective.

So here it is:

First the Basics…

1.  All Men Love Beautiful Women.  (The Heterosexual ones may not admit this to their significant other, but it’s true.  And, the only thing better for Heterosexual Males than a Beautiful Woman is more than one Beautiful Woman.  It’s why VHS won out in the 80’s.  But that’s another story.)
2. All Beautiful Women love Beautiful Women.  (There is the Heterosexual Female Proximity Variable (HFPV) which must be factored into this rule, but the White House, Mar-A-Lago and Trump Tower are far enough away from most Beautiful Women who Love Beautiful Women as to not pose a threat to those Beautiful Women’s immediate fiefdom.)
3. All Non-Heterosexual Humans Love Beautiful Women… but not necessarily for the same reasons.

With the above rules in mind, the only people who find Smoking Hot Melania Photos offensive (genuinely offensive… ie. they’re offended deep, deep, down while being honest with themselves and not simply ‘being careful’ around those who provide them things they want like sex and food) do not belong to any of the three mentioned groups.

Those few remaining Individuals not belonging to a group mentioned above made their minds up to vote for Hillary… in the 90’s.

I know…  I know…

Theoretically there is a group of individuals who profess that such behavior offends their religious beliefs.

A couple of things on that.

If Smoking Hot pics of Melania offend your religious beliefs, than I personally cannot imagine the world of perpetual offense you must reside in by subjecting yourself to politics in any form.  In the Hierarchy of Offending how does Stunningly Beautiful Pictures of a woman who could be First Lady of the United States (And Admired by three aforementioned very large groups around the World) rank against Up-Arming Mexican Drug Cartels at Taxpayer Expense, Destroying the Greatest Healthcare System on the Planet or Leaving an American Ambassador to Die in Libya while He and his Associates were Desperately Pleading for Help?  I could go on for a few thousand words, but I think you get the point.

Also, the above rules cross religious lines… maybe not vocally, but we’re talking behavior here.

In the end, as it was in Utah, these pictures will do nothing but give The Donald a further bump in the polls…  with a collective but probably very quiet thought of “Damn Dude, Nice Job!” because we like sex and food.

(It’s worth noting the person in charge of the Utah PAC “Make America Awesome” did not belong to the three above outlined groups which is why the Melania Billboard Idea made it out of the conference room.)

Melania 2016!

(Seriously, Where is my Bumper Sticker?)

Advertisement

Melania 2016!

So I woke up, got out of bed and dragged a comb across my head…  I made my way down stairs and had a smoke, somebody spoke and I went into a dream… AaaaAAaAaaaAAAAAaaaaaahhhhh…  Melania 2016!

Look folks, while I still remain mystified as to the guy’s politics, I’m on team Trump now.  Melania Trump to be exact.

The uproar today about Melania using parts of a Socialist First Lady’s speech is a distraction at least if not an all out War on Beautiful Women.  Lifting words for speeches is not only common, but almost unavoidable.  There is nothing left to be said that hasn’t already been said twice.

I believe what is really irritating the Left is that Melania Trump gave a terrific speech and people were tuned in.

Gasp!

That’s two serious problems…

Set aside the fact that their kinda chosen Candidate cannot tell the truth or keep a secret to save a life, Hillary can’t give a speech, in her only language, anyone with the faculty of hearing can endure.  Add to that glaring issue the second, even if you turn off the sound, Hillary holds no interest to those with the other faculty of sight.

Simply comparing the two first Ladies on this alone leaves Hillary wanting.

Frankly, Melania could have whipped out a dusty copy of the Cleveland White Pages and started reading… and I would have been paying very close attention.

I am not alone.

So let’s look at this for what it is.

Hillary:

1.  Thinks she’s Smarter than she is, demonstrably.
2.  Does insulting fake accents for effect.
3.  Cackles.
4.  Kankles.
5.  Has a tenuous relationship with the law.

Melania:

1. Doesn’t appear to see herself as the Smartest Women in the World.
2. Actually has an accent and can give a speech people will watch.
3. Has a beautiful smile and wears it often.
4. Smokin’ Hot.
5. Follows the law.

Hmmm…..

Sounds to me like the War on Women is alive and well.

But only on Beautiful Republican Women.

Sarah?  Elizabeth?  Laura?

And now Melania.

Go Melania!

Just wait until they get a load of Ivanka.

They are going to FREAK!

(As a side note; Hey you Cruz guys, I get it.  But enough already.  You’re making yourselves look foolish at this point.  Take solace in the profound irony of the Establishment Republican A-Holes getting Trump as result of the very mechanism they set up in the Northeast which they have used to Foist the likes of McCain upon us year after year.  You guys need to join team Trump and fight to close the primaries.  If you can’t stomach supporting Donald, then get aboard the Melania for First Lady train.  It works for me.)

(A side, side, note;  Hey you Trump campaign folks… where’s my Melania 2016! sticker?  Seriously.  Where… is… it?)