Leprechaun Stomping

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Before we get started, I want to offer a quick public service announcement;

The Best Thing about Green Beer is Green Vomit.

Seriously… that’s the Best Thing.

So do yourself a favor and stick with the Guinness.  (And liters of Black Bush if you’re anything like me.)

OK, back to the post.

Now that we’re coming up on the Second of the Drinking Holiday’s, Mardi Gras being First and Cinco de Mayo rounding out the Season… (I know Memorial Day is big in the South.  It’s when they ‘officially’ open up the lakes, rivers and pools, for public injury.) we have to remind ourselves to sober up just enough to get through Easter Dinner. Your mother will be disappointed if you sleep through the entire meal, so Drink Responsibly.

For those of you who do not have an Easter Dinner to attend, you’ll enjoy our Drinking Game.

It’s called Leprechaun Stomping.  (I’m sure there is some kind of bigotry here, but until someone clarifies it for me I’m keeping this tradition alive.  At least I didn’t call it the Washington Redskins Stomping…)

Given we’ve been drinking non-stop since Mardi Gras we should be primed and ready for today’s game.

You’ll need a friend to keep score.  You cannot keep score yourself… if you don’t have any friends ask the person closest to you.  Proximity is a great substitute for friendship.

The object is to Stomp on Leprechaun’s.  I know this sounds easy… but it’s far more difficult than you might think.

What makes it hard is you can only see Leprechaun’s out of the corner of your eye… so be careful… if you can see the Leprechaun by staring directly at him Don’t Stomp!  He is Not a Leprechaun!  He could be just some short guy in a green outfit… but he is certainly Not A Leprechaun.  If your still unsure, approach very slowly, Grab and Yank His Ear.  If you can do this He is Not a Leprechaun.  Do Not Stomp.  (This Maneuver is called “Grab and Yank”.  It has Many Meanings in a number of different countries, so be cautious when and where you use it.  Sometimes the Meaning is Good, sometimes not so much.)

Important Things to keep in Mind;

Leprechauns Show Up in Groups.

Leprechauns Hide Behind Things.

Leprechauns will not notice you if you are yelling Stuff in Gaelic.  (You can even yell things that sound remotely close to Gaelic… that’s what I do.  It seems to work.)

Here’s another tip…

Leprechauns leave behind a Very Faint Residue once Stomped.  But, It can only be Tasted with the Tip of your Tongue.  You will find It on the Bottom of your Shoe, or Boot, as well as on the Bar Floor where you Stomped Him.  This will come in handy if there is an argument with your “friend” over the legitimacy of the Stomp.

Leprechauns Will Run!  If you are New to the Game, A Few Beers into the Game, or just slow, you’ll be chasing the Leprechauns.  But don’t worry, you’ll get better… or not.

Leprechauns will come out the More you Drink.  If Multiple people are Playing, this Tip could be to your Advantage.

Leprechauns are in Endless Supply.  As Long as You’re Playing, They’ll be There.

Those are the Basics.

For the Advanced Players a few extra hints from our Pro’s:

Once you think you see a Leprechaun out of the corner of your eye you have to start stomping quickly.

You need to put a reasonable amount of Force into your Stomp as Leprechauns don’t go down easily.

After you’ve Stomped on your Leprechaun you must immediately turn to your “friend” for a Ruling and Current Score.  Both of These are to be loudly Shouted Out for all those Playing to Hear.  (Warning:  There have been many a fight associated with this aspect of the Game.  “Friends” sometimes fail to give you credit for your Leprechaun… Sometimes they lose interest in your efforts… Sometimes they just don’t want to play… Sometimes they’re not really “friends” and they make-out with your girlfriend and eat your food in the fridge and drink your beer and drive your car but never put gas in it.  But that’s not how it works.  In Fine Irish Tradition You get to choose who your “friend” is and They Have to Play.  However, after a Fight the rules state you can pick a new “friend” if you want.  This often depends on the Size and Strength of your Previous Choice.)

If you spill your Beer you Lose a Leprechaun.  Don’t do this.  This is kind of a Life Rule.

All right Folks!

Get out There and Play… Today is the Day.

Slainte!

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The Holy Grail of Truth

Rejoice!

The Holy Grail of Truth has been found!  It bears the name LexisNexis!  And it quenches the thirst of all who partake of its’ contents.

Now, gone are the days when snake tongued politicians could say whatever you wanted to hear and leave you beguiled.  Present are the days of refining our selection of representatives by their intellectual honesty and integrity.

Rejoice!

As the digital age has bestowed upon us the ability to remember, or at least be reminded.
We find strength in knowing that this election cycle and every one of them from this point forward will be a subject of easy access to words, and acts, from long ago.  Information previously held tightly by the self anointed.

Rejoice!

Now the aspiring leaders and representatives of the people will be subject to our review and held accountable for actions no longer forgotten.  Joy will be realized as we revel in the words of our ideological enemies used as weapons against them.  And, Hope will be nurtured as those words are used to hone a new class of ideologically consistent champions.

We, the people, can now recount promises with perfect accuracy and rate performance according to what was pledged.  No longer can there be the disingenuous claims of “That’s not what I said!” or “That’s not what I meant!” as all is now available to any who will listen… and watch.

Hear the lament of those who held sway over opinion… an overt pine for the bygone days of Information Monarchies and Editorial Princes.  But don’t find truth there…
It is exactly that which they disdain which saves us.  It is the crumbling of information Kingdoms and fragmentation of the Old Media Church combined with the new age of the Gutenberg Press that has changed the face of modern politics… for the better… and forever. It is why there is any faith to be found in what is a brilliant system whose primary participant, the electorate, has been mis-lead to a communal end by a Leftist Aristocracy.

So raise a chalice and,

Fear not!  The End is Not Near!

(Well.. it’s kind of near.  At least as close as I ever want to see it.  Anyway, I’m designing a new drinking game built around hypocrisy and politicians being confronted with their own words.  I’m trying to have it up and running before the debates… as that is when it should be the most applicable.  As always, I’m open for any suggestions from the dedicated.)

Oh, and LexisNexis is a division of Reed Elsevier which trades under: RUK

Trick or Drink!

In our Undisclosed Location we have what most of us consider a “Charming” Tradition each October 31st.

‘Tis a time-honored Tradition passed down from generation to generation.

‘Tis a Tradition we would like to share with you…

So, The time has come.  Many Cycles of the Moon we have waited…  to collect our offerings…

As the Sun is low on All Hallows Eve we wrest our Ceremonial Goblets from the mantle and quietly traverse the path from Hut to Hut…

Trick… or Drinking.

With a slow approach nearing each new abode you can hear the merry jingle of glass decanters eagerly awaiting our impending arrival.

Rap, Rap, Rapping upon the threshold, bright excited eyes greet us and smiles break with the cheery peal of “Trick or Drink!”. 

Due enthusiasm erupts as our newly obliged hosts pour each and all a small helping of an alcoholic elixir meeting their fancy. Once all have imbibed, and rejoicing has been had, we set out anew with our merry troop growing by those last visited.

On a short time indeed, and many a dwelling set upon, the troop is now a hoard and the howl a battle cry needing supped.  We know no mercy and besiege all those not wary enough to douse their candles.

‘Tis Now, The Entire Village awakes and all are alight with the anticipation of bountiful distilled goodies.

All too are aware that as the twilight slips below the horizon, wee beggars donning the garb of ghouls and goblins shall arrive threatening us for different, far sweeter prizes…

And as soon as it had begun, it is over for a year on… until the next Day before All Saints.

Cheers to you all!  And, Happy Halloween!

(In case you’re wondering, the only trick any of us know is lighting your house on fire.  You’ve been warned.)

102912

“My Credibility Is Not On The Line.”

“The World’s Credibility Is On The Line.” – Barack Obama 9/4/13 In reference to his “Red Line” comments made earlier this year and repeated, for the record, on the White House website.

The President should be given a break here.

Mr. Obama was simply doing the work of the world. Someone has to speak for the rest of the Nations, and he was only doing his part to communicate what he knows the Global Community wants to say. In other words, he’s doing the heavy lifting… the job Global Citizens will not do…

This addresses something I noticed during Obama’s first State of the Union Speech.

We have a little game we play during State of the Union Speeches… you draw words, and if they are used you drink.  I like to keep my Drinking games simple, it helps once you’re about an hour into them.

The words I drew were “I, Me and My”

I believed I had won the lottery because Presidents avoid such words.  Typically, they understand they are simply the Representative chosen to head the Executive Branch of Government.  It is always “Our, We, Together” etc.  As it should be.

However, It was not a win…

In fact, It was a painful evening… and I’m a professional.

That episode aside, it illustrates a mentality.  It demonstrates a certain level of Narcissism, or Ego, that can lead an individual into mistakes such as the current Syria debacle.

The above Elitist approach to governing can result in avoidable loss of life such as the events surrounding Fast and Furious, Benghazi etc.

Such a view of one’s self can allow an individual to turn a blind eye to the destruction of the Privacy of Others, as in the case of the NSA Domestic Spying Programs, or direct government intimidation and oppression as represented by IRS Targeting, Militarization of Local Police, TSA and DHS tactics.

While the President is just one person, it starts at the top.  Are Leaders tend to surround themselves with people who view the world in the same way.  (A noted exception was Mr. Bush’s appointment of Colin Powell.  But, if you recall, Bush was criticized for not following the advice of Powell.  The media demonized a Leader who strayed from surrounding himself with those he would disagree with.  I’m not a Bush “fan”, it’s just an interesting observation.  Make of it what you will.)

Elitists surround themselves with sycophants and then Demonize those that challenge the way they see themselves.  This results in appointments like John Kerry, allies like John McCain and attitudes exhibited by Nansi Pelosi and Harry Reid.  It also explains the destructive rhetoric leveled at men like Mike Lee, Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, TEA Party Conservatives and Libertarians.  (For those of you out there that disagree with me here, please give an honest moment of thought regarding what these individuals and groups stand for.  You can find it easily with your googler.  Go directly to their sites… read their words verbatim… don’t allow someone else to tell you what they said or what they think.  It has been my experience that Evil does not view itself as such and will speak freely.  It Evil is there you’ll find it for yourself, in their own words without the careful editing, comedic or otherwise, from the opposition.)

With a little reflection one can pick out those Presidents, Senators and Congressmen (Our Representatives) that view themselves in this way.

Once you’ve decided you’re smarter than everyone else… it’s easy to then to decide you speak for the world.

So in his mind, why would his credibility be on the line?

I, Me, My.

All my life I have watched Presidential addresses and various speeches.  It doesn’t take much of a leap, or social Darwinism, to see the possibilities these speeches present for someone like me.

Drinking games.

Starting in college we would sit and watch these events with full cases of beer and creative minds.  Eventually we determined that too many rules left most of us unable to make it through the first half of the address, and the other half unable to remember who was supposed to do what.  So we simplified…

We adopted our own set of words.  All of the other participants knew what our words were and when uttered by the president were quick to make sure we imbibed accordingly.  The words I chose were “I, Me and My“.

I remembered from the Reagan days that his philosophy was; as a leader you didn’t employ the words I, Me and My unless you were speaking to some personally subjective state like “feeling”.  He also felt that it was an easy way to judge the character of the leader in front of you as the employ of these words exposed how the individual viewed the world.  In other words they represent the brilliance around them or, instead, they are brilliance for all to see.  Most often using these words exhibited insecurity more than anything else.

I always liked my words because for the most part they kept me sober… somewhat.  Leaders just don’t use these words.  This remained true until the Clinton Administration.  Seemingly, his biggest violation of this “rule” is his never-ending desire to remind all of us that the administration was “his”.  It was “my” this and “my” that.  I drank a lot.

I got a reprieve during Bush who moved to “us” and “we” for the most part.

Apparently Obama has caught wind of our little game.  Someone told him that we all still gather during the State of the Union and other addresses with beer in hand.  With this knowledge, he  seemingly has decided to step it up a notch.

During the first year of the Obama Administration he gave more televised speeches than any other President in history… and I had a hard time getting anything done as sobriety was a scarce commodity.

It slowed down until now.  If I were you, I would by stock in Budweiser.  Right now!

To illustrate my point I just pulled up a speech from a couple of weeks ago… Obama used “I” 28 times and “me” once.  Considering an honest pull off a beer is about 2 ounces this ends up being a 5 beer speech…. given at 10am… on a Tuesday.  You see the problem.  Yes, the first year was very difficult.

As of late, I have been struggling with the campaign and everything it seems the president has personally executed beginning with Osama Bin Laden.  From his making the call, to his personally pulling the trigger, to his personally flying the seals to safety, I have been drinking a lot.  There seems to be no end to the myriad ways to use “I, Me, My”.

It should be an interesting election year.  At least the parts I can remember.