This Crunchy Baby Thing is Killing Us…

Quick! Has Anyone Shot a Lion?!

They have!?  AND IT’S AN AMERICAN!?  Sweeeeet!

Yes, I KNOW this has been going on for decades… legally.  But that’s not the point!

WE NEED SELECTIVE OUTRAGE!

Some of our base, those that don’t think Crunchy Babies is a breakfast cereal, are catching on to the fact that Human Body parts are being quietly sold for Profit by Planned Parenthood.

We need to move them away from trying to understand the whole PP issue.

We need a Furry Face of Distraction!

And, we need to personalize it just like Alinsky taught us.  I wish the Lion had a name…

no way…!

Cecil?

Perfect!  The sweet, adorable, Lion has a name!  How totally Disney!

This is brilliant… even the kids will cry!

Human Life is Cheap and a Detriment to the Planet, but Lions!?  Lions deserve to live way more than Humans!

Besides, fetuses don’t have names… and we all know “it’s not a life until it leaves the hospital”.

Whew…

That was Close!

 

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Disney has a New Character!

Meet: Carlos Danger!

Carlos is a superhero who champions single mothers, and soon to be single mothers, and dancers, and Fox News Contributors.

His super power consists of being able to quickly move his thumbs and suddenly appear before unsuspecting citizens at the speed of light.

His superhero outfit is… well, he doesn’t have one.  Actually, if he has one we haven’t seen him in it.  Most of us are hoping he gets one.

He is very, very stealthy when it comes to concealing his true identity.  But only from those he’s married to, and New York voters.

His archenemies are the Fruit of the Loom guys.  They have been known to try to constrain him with their wares..

Look for Carlos Danger coming to a theater near you… and your family!

Just listen for the telltale Mariachi Klezmer and you’ll know he’s close…

Your kids will love him!  Whether you like it or not!

(I personally can’t wait for the action figure.)