The Crying Game

It was reported earlier today that Nancy Pelosi was “near tears” during Benjamin Netanyahu’s speech this morning.

I know, I know… you could never tell be looking at her. So we’ll have to take her word for it.

Apparently Mrs. Pelosi was so deeply insulted by Netanyahu’s speaking out loud of the fear Israeli’s feel regarding Iran obtaining a Nuclear Weapon that she nearly broke into tears. (As a note, her face would literally have to break for there to be tears coming from it.)

Mrs. Pelosi stated that she was offended by Bibi’s “condescension” as it pertained to what she determined was his belief American Leftists didn’t comprehend the danger posed to Israel by Those Who Must Not be Named should they acquire even a single Nuclear Weapon.

Apparently lost upon Mrs. Pelosi is President Obama’s current policy of allowing Iran to develop Nuclear Weapons. Also missing her completely is the Administrations desire to talk about the dangers of such weapons while Iran’s development of them continues unabated.

There you have it…

How dare the Leader of the country who is surrounded by those whose National Charters demand its inhabitants be ‘marched into the sea’… or better yet, be ‘completely annihilated’… voice concern over the Chamberlainesque foreign policy being practiced by President Obama designed to kick the atomic can down the road so someone else can be blamed for Nuclear War in the Middle East. (We’ve already seen how effective this approach has been with North Korea.)

Meanwhile in the House…

John Boehner actually breaks into tears trying to convince anyone who still believes a word he says that he really wanted to de-fund the Illegal Amnesty program being operated out of DHS.  (This guy has to go… seriously… he’s got to be ousted.)

Now I’m going to cry over a bottle of Scotch.

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For the Two of You who Will be Watching the State of the Union Speech Tonight…

Here are the most Important Points you will not hear:

1. We made a Mistake attempting to Socialize the Finest Medical System in the World.  We must repeal it before it get’s any worse!
2. It’s Our Fault your Insurance Plan has been eliminated and to replace it with anything close will cost you 3-5 times more money.  Sorry about that.
3. Because of our Monetary Policy, and Soviet Style EPA regulations, Beef, Chicken, Pork, Eggs, Cheese and Milk prices have inflated to astronomical levels, but that’s OK because most of the Occupy Movement still have their parents buying their groceries. Oh, and hey, Rice is still pretty cheap… because we haven’t got that far yet.
4. The dollar you were barely able to save this year is now worth $.25 because we can never, never, never consider spending less so we just keep printing more money.
5. You’re Right.  We allowed that Diplomat and four special operators to die in Benghazi. But, At this point what difference does it make?  (This line should be delivered in a high-pitched screechy voice.)

6.  We do, in fact, conduct IRS audits on those of you who disagree with our Ideology.  So what?  You gonna to do somthin’ bout it?  That’s what I thought.

7.  The NSA will continue to collect as much data as possible on you even though you’ve never done anything wrong… because you just might.  Or we may want to go out with you.  Or refer to #6.

8.  Yes, it’s true, Barney Frank and Chris Dodd, with a little help from Bill Clinton, attempted to collapse our economy by forcing banks to lend money to people who could never pay it back.  It was so remarkably ignorant that we decided to allow Barney and Chris to write the bill to make things even worse.  Because that’s what we do up here.  Oh yeah, and my friend Barney just got a job as a contributor on CNBC!  I know!  It blew me away too!

9.  The DHS is exactly the Federally Controlled Domestic Armed Forces we were never supposed to have.  Ever.

10.  We have never read a single Bill… never.  In addition, we have no intention of doing so.  Frankly most elected officials couldn’t point out what a bill looks like let alone tell you what’s in one.  So stop being ridiculous.

11.  When I tell you “I had No Idea that something was going on.”, I mean it.  I Really have No Idea about what goes on up here.  Seriously.  I Learn everything I know from CNN.  If it wasn’t for those guys and Anthony Bourdain I wouldn’t know where half of the 57 States were even located.  That Bourdain Guy is Cool isn’t he?  And Orca’s are in trouble!  Who knew?

12.  Finally, before we say goodnight I want to share with you, the American People, something we talk about often up here on the Hill.  You have suspected it for decades and it’s time to reveal it to you tonight for the first time!  We, the elected officials and particularly every unelected Bureaucrat in Washington, do indeed believe you folks are too stupid to make decisions for yourself… but we know you’re not watching anyway.  So, Good Night and God Bless.

Oh wait, wait, wait… hold on…  Raise the Minimum Wage!  War on Women!  Immigration! Anyone who opposes me Hates Minorities… and Homosexuals!  And don’t forget, most of you are Racists.

Sorry, Now you can switch back to Big Bang Theory.  Good Night.

(This would be the first time I would win my SOTU Drinking Game with the words I, Me and MY.)