Put mayonnaise on your french fries.
Dip your pizza in ranch dressing.
Bread and deep fry your cheese.
Put a little gravy on everything.
Potatoes and Corn are the only ‘vegetables’ that matter…
Keep calling the double frappichimotto with whipped cream and caramel sauce you get a Starbucks “coffee”.
It’s true, regardless of the size, a bag of chips is a single serving.
Weight lifters eat five meals a day… and so should you.
Apple, Orange and Grape juice have to be good for you…
If fruit is healthy, then five pounds of it blended into a single drink and poured into a styrofoam cup will make you immortal.
There is always an excuse to eat chocolate. Always.
Low fat means you can eat as much as you want.
Sugar cubes have no fat! So… buy a box… or two…
When you see an “all you can eat” buffet it ceases to be dinner and becomes a contest.
People have to love me for what’s on the inside. (Which is a mashed up, partly digested, brown porridge of all of the above. And, by the way, no we don’t.)
And the only significant thing about the word Diet is it has the word “Die” in it.
I genuinely support your right to do and believe all of this… but don’t expect me to be happy when you try to force me to pay for it.
The only solution is to make your health care insurance Personal (You pay for your decisions) and Portable (It stays with you wherever you go.). Not a single-payer government-run scheme (Obamacare or Medicare for All) making all of us who are not decision impaired pay your health care costs.
That way, you can keep buttering your doughnuts and I’ll keep cheering you on!
And yes, bacon actually does make everything taste better… even ice cream, or that fruit smoothie.