I suppose I knew sometime in the mid-eighties.
And looking back, I had deep feelings even prior to that. I always enjoyed wearing make-up.
It has been a lifetime of pain.
I’ve always felt like I was surrounded by people who were different from me and I could never really express myself in a way they would choose to understand. You just don’t know what it’s like living in a world that looks down on you, and laughs.
Well… today is the day. And this blog is the place.
I want to scream at the top of my lungs so the whole Universe can hear!
I’m a Clown!
Did you hear me Universe?!
I’m a CLOWN! So SCREW YOU!
It’s been a long struggle knowing how I really identified and yet not being able to simply be myself. The oppression I’ve lived with for decades in a society filled with pompous windbags who take themselves far too seriously… and not having the ability to throw a pie in their face… or squirt them with the little flower on my lapel. The facade of intelligence worn by the foolish has always been transparent to me. I knew it wasn’t right. I knew I was OK and everybody else was not.
Well, it’s time.
I’m applying the zinc and taking a new name!
I’ve decided to take the name Bahzoh (Pronounced ‘shar-DAY’) because that’s what I’ve called myself all these years. Now you all MUST call me that too. In fact, you all MUST accept my new, old, identity or else you’re all haters, racist and bigoted clown-o-phobes. Just because I dress in colorful onesies and wear a rubber nose gives you absolutely no excuse to notice… and if you do notice, because I’m going to make sure you do, then you have no other option but to clap your hands like a mime with overly exaggerated approval.
I know I’m Brave for making something so deeply personal into an abject spectacle. No doubt you’ll all shower me with awards and accolades. I deserve it.
Bahzoh at makeaneffort
PS. I’m getting a job at the DMV. See you soon.