Tag Archives: CNN

The Stories They don’t want you to Care About…

Or, Why I Love the Holidays.

I enjoy the Holidays not just for the Overeating and Drinking too much, but for the News. I know… weird, right?

Well, actually the Holidays offer up the News no one wants you to know. If ‘They’ can’t dump the stories on Weekends when you are not paying attention then ‘They’ shoot for the closest Holiday. And no season offers the length and breadth of your ‘not paying attention’ than Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Years. Yeah, the other Holidays are good… but the reigning King remains that time when the old year meets the beginning of the new one.

So if you really like to see what nobody is interested in you seeing, but ‘They’ want to be able to say “We ran That Story!”, scan the news feeds over the last 4-weeks.

You may be amazed.

And you might just join me in my hatred of ‘They’.


Update: President Obama Meets with National Security Team

UPDATE: It has come to our attention that President Obama has reached out to the National Security Agency regarding the events in the Middle East. 

In an unusual move, the NSA has released a public statement upon receiving the request;

“Reviewing the President’s request for intelligence on the latest events in Syria and Iraq it is important to remind the White House that our primary focus is keeping the Government safe from the Citizens of the United States.  All of our energy and resources are dedicated to that mission.  We have no useful intelligence regarding ISIS or any group, or individual, overseas.  We recommend contacting CNN.” – NSA

 

This morning President Obama has called an emergency meeting of his National Security Team.

According to reports the President has had a Big Screen TV delivered to the White House for the meeting. The inside sources have confirmed the delivery of the TV and have told us it has been tuned to CNN for the purpose of informing the President about what is going on in the Middle East.

At this very moment the entire National Security Team is reported to be huddled around the TV so they can also learn what is going on in the Middle East.

Once the President, and his team, has been fully briefed by CNN it is anticipated he will make an announcement about what he might do…

One of the options offered by Susan Rice, the Obama National Security Advisor, is to order an IRS audit of ISIS, aka Al Qaeda, as there is probably some malfeasance associated with the name change and a possible connection to the TEA Party conservatives.

It is also rumored that the National Security Team is actively searching YouTube for any Videos which would have prompted the ISIS actions in the Middle East.  However, upon our attempt to verify this rumor we have been informed by Google that there has been a computer crash and those videos, if they existed, may be lost forever.

We will continue to watch closely as the United States is caught up to speed for the very first time regarding the events occurring in Syria and Iraq.

(Our sources have also indicated that the constant changing of names by Al Qaeda has been very confusing for the President. They have told us that the President had decided Al Qaeda was ‘on the run’ and someone should get this information to Al Qaeda as quickly as possible. The President has also indicated the inherent injustice of changing names when US policy has been based on the Al Qaeda Label.)


What is it with Liberals and Guns?

According to his roommate, Aaron was a Liberal.

So we are yet again faced with a mass shooting performed by a person who identified as a Liberal.

Would someone please notify the FBI so they can update their profile?

I might be gaining a better understanding of why Liberals want to ban guns so badly… they can’t trust themselves with them.


WWVPD?

Given the Enormity of the task one must feel somewhat sorry for President Barack Obama.

The Middle East is melting Down…
Health Care has been destroyed in the name of Fairness…
The Dollar has been devalued to the point of no return…
The Economy is in a shambles…
Unemployment is being manipulated to disguise records highs…
Detroit and other U.S. cities are Bankrupt…
We’re facing another War after failing to end the two we currently have…
The Right to Privacy has been completely dismantled…
Our Diplomats are being killed…
Mexico discovered the U.S. Government was up-arming their Drug Cartels…

Even the frequent, and expensive, parties hosting the Entertainment Industries Glitterati just doesn’t bring the Joy it once did.

It’s times like these that people turn to their Savior for guidance.

It’s times like these that test men’s souls.

So President Obama is doing the right thing by turning to He that knows all…

He’s asking “What Would Vladimir Putin Do?”

And then seeking council from his Advisors at CNN to find out.

Once he has been briefed by the Cable News Nets he then asks John Kerry to reach out to Vladimir.

Putin, knowing how difficult trying to be exceptional is, broadcasts his plans for President Obama and John Kerry to embrace.

Without a moments hesitation,

Turning to the President, Secretary Kerry says “Let’s go with that since everything I’ve got is unbelievably small.” In response, the President directs him to go out right away and claim he thought of it.

So Fear not.

We can all rest assured that the Russian President has the unfolding events well in hand.

It’s also now been reinforced… one does not need to be born in the United States in order to be it’s Leader.


Obama RAGES over Gun Deal Collapse!

…reads the headline at Breitbart.

Full story here: www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2013/04/17/Obama-graves-Sandy-Hook-press-conference

I included this because I feel sorry for Barack.

The Universe is just not smiling on his best laid plans and political circuses.

As the story states, the President knew all along that he would not have enough votes to pass the Hopped Up Gun Control Bill.  He also thought he would have our undivided attention with which to shame all of us for supporting the Second Amendment which protects the First.

Whoops.

Things are really, really, really not going as Planned…

Reporting on The Marathon Bombing and CNN’s errant rush to report the Bombers subsequent arrest has consumed all the oxygen in the room.

This is one of those rare moments when you might think someone is looking out for us… in a sad and twisted kind of way, but none the less…

Tonight I’m raising a glass to the Universe, which may be semi-benevolent after all.


Since we’re Jumping to Conclusons regarding the Boston Marathon…

I think I’ll join in…

News Flash!:

Dateline 031513

Obesity Rights group bombs Boston Marathon.

The Obesity Rights Congress of America, a terrorist organization affiliated with Fatah Allah Tamil Tribes of Yemen, today claimed responsibility for the bombing of the Boston Marathon.

In an unsourced internet post an anonymous spokesperson said: “How many more Runners must die before the world realizes we should get special rights too?!  I’d say more but I have to go to lunch.”

Now back to Shepard Smith vamping out loud about every conceivable scenario imaginable…  where is Richard Jewel when we need someone to blame?  Oh, right… he’s dead.  What about timothy…. too skinny, and also dead.  I guess I have to leave the conjecture to Shep.


A Shot Across the Bow…

There was another moment that I and the 199 other viewers watching CNN shared last night with Mr. Weinstein and former President Bill Clinton that I did not mention in my previous post. It has made the circuit today, as I thought it might, so I didn’t address it.

However…
I don’t think anyone is getting it.
Bill Clinton said Mitt Romneys’ Bain Capital tenure was “sterling”.
As explanations, I have heard everything from “the democrats are also in bed with Bain” to “Clinton is endorsing Romney”.

I think it is easier than any of this.
President Obama does not like the Clinton’s… never has. Hillary being Sec. State has more to do with Bill Richardson and Obama’s lack of infrastructure than with any kind of shared love.  (If anybody is remotely interested I can explain in comments.)
To me, this was clearly a shot across the bow. A thinly veiled warning to Obama that Bill Clinton can be a strong ally as well as a formidable adversary.
The Clinton’s want Hilary on that ticket. Either for the win, or for the next run. They also believe it is the only choice Obama has if he stands any chance of winning… so it is “for the good of the party”.  All their “moral” bases are covered.
President Clinton simply made a point on a barely watched network (except by Canadians apparently) that Obama really does not want him running around as a loose cannon.  God forbid he say something similar on Fox or, well Fox. People would actually see it.
So, in usual form, Bill and Hillary have made their demands behind closed doors and expect the desired response.  No foot dragging.  The time is now.

I figured someone would have picked up on this, which is why I left it alone.

Or, it could just be the absinthe.