Tag Archives: alcohol helps

The 5%

Just mere moments ago I had a brief exchange with an individual on another blog… and it brought something to mind.

The person was another commenter who described themselves as a ‘lesbian stripper’.  Fair enough…  from this point forward we will refer to her as ‘LS’.

So LS said she was afraid of Strange Men.  A sentiment I happen to share with her.  Although I also fear Strange Women, Dogs, Cats, Carneys, Clowns, etc.

LS explained that she stripped “for the control” it gave her over men.

That statement alone demonstrates a level of introspection rarely found anywhere in humanity.  And because of that, I have complete faith LS will be just fine in the long run… or at least whatever she decides to define as fine.

But the point here is what I have referred to in the past as The 5%.

I am convinced that 5% of the population totally sucks.

Bare in mind, it’s not always the same 5%… it’s The 5% at any given moment.

The downside of a small number of Completely Crappy People is their amazing ability to cause the rest of us lasting grief.

Think about it.

Most of the laws we find ridiculous are a result of this 5%.

The lengthy disclaimers associated with products including, but not limited to, bleach, seat belts and cheese are a result of this 5%.

Our Political Landscape is determined by The 5%.

Scary… right?

Unfortunately, our behaviors are also shaped by The 5%.

I can personally attest that my driving habits are a result of consistently avoiding The 5%.

I happen to live in the State that patented Turning Right out of the farthest Left lane and Left out of the farthest Right lane… always, as required by patent, with no warning.

Stop signs are optional… and to be held in Disdain.

The State also requires a Minimum Blood Alcohol Content before it’s legal to operate any machinery weighing more than 500 lbs. on shared roads.

So I have adopted the tactic of speeding up, or slowing down, allowing as much space as possible between me and EVERYONE ELSE on the road.

Did you catch that?

I HOLD EVERYONE SUSPECT of being The 5% when I’m driving.

While this is sad, it has worked for me so far.

So back to LS…

At some point in her life LS has had reason to fear ‘Strange Men’.  And as a result of that experience, she has decided to utilize an unearned power to make money as well as, and according to her more importantly, exercise ‘control’ over men.  (I should clarify that ‘unearned power’ is not a slight on LS.  I have come to refer to youth and sexual/reproductive viability as a ‘unearned power’ because… it is.  It’s not a power developed through skill and is ultimately perishable due to the passage of time.  Frankly, I have nothing against strippers.  Additionally, I have nothing against naked lesbians…. well, some naked lesbians.  Anyway, I digress…)

Here’s the rub, LS has now firmly placed herself in a target rich environment overloaded with the 5%.  She will continue to experience an overwhelming level of confirmation that Men are indeed ‘Strange’.  She has found the perfect job for Confirmation Bias.  (I suggested she consider becoming an Attorney… basically the same job… Pays about the same, but you can do it well past your late twenties.)

In other words, LS’ chosen line of work would be tantamount to my deciding to become an Over-the-Road Trucker…

I simply don’t need any more proof the 5% suck.  Professional Driving on anything other than a closed course is OUT.

In the end… I prefer to spend as much time as possible with the 95%.

The ‘Strange’ 5% should be left to deal with eachother.

Not that the 95% doesn’t have it’s hefty helping of Strange… we do.

But most of us makeaneffort to stay out of, and away from, the Professionally Strange 5% if we can.

It’s a minute by minute battle.

Alcohol helps.