The 5%

Just mere moments ago I had a brief exchange with an individual on another blog… and it brought something to mind.

The person was another commenter who described themselves as a ‘lesbian stripper’.  Fair enough…  from this point forward we will refer to her as ‘LS’.

So LS said she was afraid of Strange Men.  A sentiment I happen to share with her.  Although I also fear Strange Women, Dogs, Cats, Carneys, Clowns, etc.

LS explained that she stripped “for the control” it gave her over men.

That statement alone demonstrates a level of introspection rarely found anywhere in humanity.  And because of that, I have complete faith LS will be just fine in the long run… or at least whatever she decides to define as fine.

But the point here is what I have referred to in the past as The 5%.

I am convinced that 5% of the population totally sucks.

Bare in mind, it’s not always the same 5%… it’s The 5% at any given moment.

The downside of a small number of Completely Crappy People is their amazing ability to cause the rest of us lasting grief.

Think about it.

Most of the laws we find ridiculous are a result of this 5%.

The lengthy disclaimers associated with products including, but not limited to, bleach, seat belts and cheese are a result of this 5%.

Our Political Landscape is determined by The 5%.

Scary… right?

Unfortunately, our behaviors are also shaped by The 5%.

I can personally attest that my driving habits are a result of consistently avoiding The 5%.

I happen to live in the State that patented Turning Right out of the farthest Left lane and Left out of the farthest Right lane… always, as required by patent, with no warning.

Stop signs are optional… and to be held in Disdain.

The State also requires a Minimum Blood Alcohol Content before it’s legal to operate any machinery weighing more than 500 lbs. on shared roads.

So I have adopted the tactic of speeding up, or slowing down, allowing as much space as possible between me and EVERYONE ELSE on the road.

Did you catch that?

I HOLD EVERYONE SUSPECT of being The 5% when I’m driving.

While this is sad, it has worked for me so far.

So back to LS…

At some point in her life LS has had reason to fear ‘Strange Men’.  And as a result of that experience, she has decided to utilize an unearned power to make money as well as, and according to her more importantly, exercise ‘control’ over men.  (I should clarify that ‘unearned power’ is not a slight on LS.  I have come to refer to youth and sexual/reproductive viability as a ‘unearned power’ because… it is.  It’s not a power developed through skill and is ultimately perishable due to the passage of time.  Frankly, I have nothing against strippers.  Additionally, I have nothing against naked lesbians…. well, some naked lesbians.  Anyway, I digress…)

Here’s the rub, LS has now firmly placed herself in a target rich environment overloaded with the 5%.  She will continue to experience an overwhelming level of confirmation that Men are indeed ‘Strange’.  She has found the perfect job for Confirmation Bias.  (I suggested she consider becoming an Attorney… basically the same job… Pays about the same, but you can do it well past your late twenties.)

In other words, LS’ chosen line of work would be tantamount to my deciding to become an Over-the-Road Trucker…

I simply don’t need any more proof the 5% suck.  Professional Driving on anything other than a closed course is OUT.

In the end… I prefer to spend as much time as possible with the 95%.

The ‘Strange’ 5% should be left to deal with eachother.

Not that the 95% doesn’t have it’s hefty helping of Strange… we do.

But most of us makeaneffort to stay out of, and away from, the Professionally Strange 5% if we can.

It’s a minute by minute battle.

Alcohol helps.


About Mike

Background is in Media with a little History Major thrown in just to be annoying. View all posts by Mike

9 responses to “The 5%

  • Despite Being a Woman | The Praetorian Writers Group

    […] all whiny little half-wits. Some are, and it’s probably only the famous, the loud, the five-percent. But we have to act as if all are fragile little flowers in order to be sure to avoid offending […]


  • xPraetorius

    I kinda glossed over something important in your column: Your comment about the 5% ruling the rest of us is right on the nose too.

    It’s an important thing to know, and people should be aware that it’s generally, the whiniest, most ignorant, agenda-driven, corrupt, IQ_deprived, bunch of self-important blowhards that comprise the 5%.


    — x


  • insanitybytes22

    Great post, Mike. Really well said. We do tend to practice confirmation bias and to attract that which validates the reality we want to believe in.

    It can be uncanny and a bit spooky. You see this is dating sometimes, in a small town there really are only about five yahoos. Sure enough, some woman who already dislikes men, will make sure she somehow manages to date every single one. There’s a guy I know who has had five ex wives and sworn off women forever. That’s fine, it’s just that the only common denominator in all those marriages is him! People don’t like to hear these things, but we really are responsible for our own selves. Sometimes we just get into these patterns and draw things towards ourselves.

    When people do that and then decide that the entire world needs to change, rather then them, and they go on a social justice campaign, that’s when we have the chaos and confusion we’re seeing in the world today. The personal is NOT political, but that is the ideology we were raised on.

    Liked by 1 person

  • xPraetorius

    Reblogged this on The Praetorian Writers Group and commented:
    Mike’s thoughts here are right on the nose. I particularly liked the comparison of strippers to lawyers. Most on-the-nose, though, is Mike’s remark that the stripper not only surrounds herself with the people she disdains, but in so doing, ultimately joins them. It’s a good, fun, thought-provoking read, with a number of important insights.

    — xPraetorius


  • xPraetorius

    Okay… this is one of the finest, most on-the-nose commentaries I’ve read in a long time. Well done. A pleasure — if a dismaying one — to read! I’m afraid I’m going to have to re-blog. I see no way around it.


    — x


  • David

    It’s like a college student looking for someone on campus to oppose his claim that the American Flag represents the worst white privileged, discriminatory racists in the world.


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