The Zombie Vote

Another reason Alex Sink’s loss in Florida Matters.

As early as 2pm EST yesterday We were hearing poll worker chatter regarding what appeared to be a decrease in Traditional Florida Voters.

According to Phyllis Simms-Hathcock, a local poll worker, the turn out of Serial, Tourist and Life-Challenged Voters was down, way down.  “We felt it early this morning and it never got better.  But it’s always hard to tell until the votes are counted and you’re short what you need.”

For most of us in the business this comes as no Surprise.  Pollsters have long known that Individuals are loath to identify themselves as Zombies or even Deceased, let alone Life Challenged.  So it is indeed difficult to tell if they intended to turn out for this election or not, making their participation impossible to gage.

We also asked Mrs. Simms-Hathcock about the Tourist Vote. “Well, you know, people come from all over to Vote in Florida Elections!  Usually we see hundreds of New York license Plates alone.  We just didn’t see that today.  But having sorted many of the Absentee ballots I know their still out there.” said Phyllis earnestly.

And the Serial Voters?  Shaking her head; “With the recent High-Profile prosecutions of Serial Voters it could be they’re Afraid to Make All Their Votes Count.  Such a Shame.  So Very Sad.”

Upon leaving the polling station we noticed a vehicle driving slowly past and flagged it down.  On the condition of anonymity a self-proclaimed “Zombie” Voter was willing to speak with us.  We asked him why he was just driving by.  “I wanted to see if it was all clear.  Since there’s only one race going on the Election People have been focusing all their resources on the Polling Stations.  A couple of my friends got busted just because they got confused, usually there’s only a “D” and an “R” on the ballot but this time there was an “L”.  Seriously!  You should have seen us trying to do that Chad thing… When it gets confusing it can take us a really long time to make a decision.  I guess that’s how they figured it out, because they were standing in the booth for like… hours, just like standing there staring… and moaning a little… and I’m just being careful.  Oh yeah.. And Supposedly they can tell I’m “Life-Challenged” by the way I walk.  What is That about!? It’s so wrong! Personally I think it’s just Profiling.”

Last night at the Sink for Congress Returns Party we were able to get off-the-record comments from Several of Sink’s Campaign Volunteers.  All of them said roughly the same thing; It’s difficult to turn out that extra 5-7% when your base is being oppressed and there’s a bunch of FBI types looking over your shoulder.  In their opinion’s it amounted to nothing less than Government Interference in Democrat Elections.  However, the consensus was it will be easier when there are more counties participating in larger elections.  The feeling is Election Officials just don’t have enough people to disenfranchise these important Progressive Voting Blocks.

While clearly this was a loss, the feeling we left with was Hope.

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