It used to be all a kid had to do to make their parents angry was tailoring a series of choices from the items listed below for their own use.
But times have changed. The Old stuff has become cliché now that the parents are the ones who made all of those choices when they were kids for the same reasons. Today’s tech savvy spawn are embracing a new set of choices. So here’s what’s Out and here’s what’s In… when it comes to annoying your parents and demonstrating teenage angst.
Running up your Credit Card.
Getting Someone Else Pregnant.
Cars with Fart Mufflers.
Dating Guys with Motorcycles.
Anything with Che, Mao or Stalin on it… (but never Hitler, he was bad.)
Dating Girls with Motorcycles.
Piercings… anywhere, regardless of number.
Bumper stickers that don’t really mean anything on your car, dresser, bedroom door…
Dying your Mohawk Day-Glo Colors.
Wearing clothes bought from heroin addicts (AKA skinny jeans, leather jackets, etc.)
Here’s What’s In:
Posters of Hayek, Von Mises and Milton Friedman hanging in your Room.
Reading Wealth of Nations.
Getting a Haircut Regularly.
Blaring Rush Limbaugh.
Knowing what a 401K is.
Ayn Rand Audio books playing when your parents are in your car.
The American Flag… in any form, and not burning it.
Having a job. It’s even better if you make more than they do.
Wearing a Sports Coat to Dinner.
Refusing to take Unemployment.
Ann Coulter’s latest book by your bed.
Saving your Money.
Ironed Khaki Slacks.
Not Smoking Pot.
Wearing socks, but never Birkenstocks.
Wearing a tie.
Having shoes you can polish.
Joining any team other than Soccer.
Listening to Country Music in addition to everything else.
Paying your bills.
Not getting a tattoo… anywhere.
Openly Promoting Limited Government.
Knowing Who William F. Buckley, Gordon Gecko and Joe McCarthy were, and believing all were correct.
And Finally, being Incredibly Friendly while liking Everybody.
In 2014, that’s how you do it.
And it’s driving certain parents Nuts, particularly in California.
(Originally Posted 021913)