Ha! And just owning one will make you smarter than everybody else!
If you’re not following Pundit you should be.
Tim Cook announced Tuesday the release of Apple’s long-rumored watch, the latest in wearable technology.
Here are some features of the new device:
- 13-megapixel camera enables users to take crystal-clear pictures of wrist
- Allows wearers to start and stop the flow of time
- Discreet, but not so discreet that anyone would mistake it for a regular watch
- Comes in a variety of colors and styles to express your personal submission to the planet’s dominant tech company
- Adjustable ticking volume
- All the convenience of a traditional watch that needs to be charged every 12 hours
- Built-in thinkpiece regarding the increased connectivity yet simultaneous isolation of the millennial generation
- Small size and intricate circuitry able to drive twice as many Chinese workers to suicide as iPhone
- Makes it easier for muggers to see whether or not you’re carrying an expensive electronic device
- Another screen to throw into your current rotation of things…
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