Thad Cochran Wins Democrat Nomination in Mississippi!

Last night in a hard fought Mississippi run off election Thad Cochran won the Democrat Nomination for the Republican Senate Seat in that state.

I had the chance to speak with Senator Cochran shortly after he was notified of his win.

“Senator, How do you feel tonight after your successful bid for the nomination?”

Cochran:  “Nomination? For What?”

“Well Sir… you just won the Nomination for…”

Cochran:  “Maybe YOU can tell me Mary!”

“Sir, my name is Mike.  I’m with makeaneffort and I’m here to…”

Cochran:  “Okay Steve, you tell me then.  There is poop in my pants!”


Cochran: “There’s poop in my pants son.  Who did it?”

“Senator, I don’t think…”

Cochran: “I don’t care what you think!  I want to know who did this in my pants!”

“Um… congratulations on your win Sir.”

Cochran: “I heard the Blacks voted for me once.  Blacks!  I wonder if they pooped my pants? You have a funny look on your face Larry… did YOU poop in my pants?”

“No Senator, I did not.  And indeed there was a huge number of Democrats who voted for you which is why you won the Republican Nomination for the Mississippi Senate Seat.  Democrats of every color.  Some say they made up almost 30% or more of your votes.”

Cochran:  “You talk too much, but I like you! 

“Thank you Senator, but how do you feel about winning with Democrat votes?”

Cochran: “I’m going to name a school after you Mike!”

“Well Sir, that would be kind but I don’t think I need to have a…”

Cochran:  “Not you Jerry, that woman behind you.”

“Of course.  Sorry for being presumptive.  Sir, do you see why the American people see no difference between the parties when Democrats choose the Republican Nominees for Senate Seats?”

Cochran: “Are we finished here?  I have something in my pants.”

“Yes Sir, thank you for your time.”

Cochran – off mic:  “Karl, Karl!  Did YOU put something in my pants!?”

Rove – off mic:  “…unintelligible… calm down Thad.  Come with me to the bathroom then we’ll go get some Ice Cream.  Does that sound nice?”

Cochran – walking away: “I like strawberry.  Will they have strawberry?  What stinks?”

About Mike

Background is in Media with a little History Major thrown in just to be annoying. View all posts by Mike

2 responses to “Thad Cochran Wins Democrat Nomination in Mississippi!

  • insanitybytes22

    You’re too funny 🙂

    I’ve found a new political party that makes a lot of sense to me. It’s called the, “Oh crap we’re all going to die!” party. Our slogan is, “please help us, we seem to be too stupid to govern ourselves!”


    • Mike

      I think this party you found has been in charge of things for quite some time built on a long history of success. It seems to be just the right combination of panic and truth.


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