Speech-Free Zones

Using his Executive Authority President Obama penned into law Millions of Mobile Speech-Free Zones across the United States.

This morning, during 45-minute signing ceremony, the President of the United States announced this as a Great Day for America and that His latest Executive Action was just the beginning of a Brand New Age.  Mr. Obama went on to say to those attending that Mobile Speech-Free Zones will release all of us from debate-lock and allow us to spend our time in complete Agreement.  This statement was received with a standing ovation led by Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi who later told reporters that being Free of Rational Thought will allow the American People more time to be Actors and Artists.

Wrapping up the event, the President explained that “This Momentous Day has been brought about by all Political Discussions being won by Progressive Liberal’s utilizing their Superior intellect and there is nothing left to talk about.”  “…Consider this a gift to Humanity.”  The last line bringing the attending Press to their feet with applause.

It is unclear where these Mobile Speech-Free Zones will be located. When asked about this President Obama said “You’ll know it when you’re in One.” and  “It’s safest to assume you’re always in One.”  When asked how the zones would be enforced President Obama said that an Historic Collaboration between the NSA, DHS and the IRS has been created to oversee the effectiveness of the new zones.

Claiming to represent the Republican response Senator John McCain appeared just outside the signing ceremony.  When asked for comment Senator McCain said “Brilliant!  Just Brilliant!”

Overall, The Press reaction has been largely Favorable as it resembles what many in the media have called for since the advent of Cable Television and Talk Radio.  Several of the Senior White House Press Corps stated off the record that this has been a long time coming.  Their point of view is that public discourse needed to be discontinued as the public really doesn’t know anything anyway.

 

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