The Langoliers

(Update:  Has anyone checked with the Somali’s?)

So What Exactly did happen to Flight 370?

Is it possible to make an entire airplane disappear?

Sure it is! I’ve watched David Copperfield do it! OK… may be not. But let’s play Conspiracy Theory!  (You have to say that out loud and draw out the vowels in an extra creepy voice for full effect.  Try it again.)

Much Better.

Now, how do we make a plane disappear?

I’ll leave the Time Eating Monsters to King.

Quantum Teleportation?  Sounds cool right?

Now your probably thinking I’m going to tell you that you can make an entire plane disappear… nope.  But, but, but… you could “defeat the air gap” sending information into the plane’s computer system.  A Quantum Scrambler so to speak.  But that would just make it crash.  Why would you do that unless you were trying to make a point?  Who would want to make that kind of point?

Angry Ex-Wife?

Wouldn’t be the first time.  Speaking of which…

Directed Energy Weapons?

Electro-Magnetic Pulse… We’re all working on it.  May be someone figured it out and has it deployed… Anybody have a large Fleet, or ex-spouse, in the area?  That too would make a point And allow for the plane doing whatever it supposedly did before disappearing.  But that could mean War, and that’s serious…

How about Clowns?

Probably unlikely… but I Hate Clowns, and they are the root cause of All Things Bad.  So it’s possible.  But they usually just steal stuff…

High-Jacking?

Why?  Does anyone think the Chinese are going to pay One Red Yuan for the 20 some Chinese businessmen on board.  To Where?  Even a 777 can’t fly far enough in that part of the world to get anywhere someone would Want to Go.  Unless you enjoy living in places with Malicious Monkeys…

Terrorists?

Someone would have called by now… to claim their place in history.  And… the 777 comes up-armored from the factory.  Unless they used Gas…  Hmmm…  A disgruntled Ex-Boeing Employee?  An Employee named David?

Magic?

As I mentioned, only David Copperfield can do it and he wasn’t aboard.  As far as we know…. actually he’s sitting right here next to me, so I know.  That would be impossible…

Flying Monkeys?

I think this is one of the better theories.  There are a LOT of Monkeys where the plane was flying from.  And… the plane WAS flying.  So… Flying Monkeys.  And They always got the crappy jobs…

The Pilots went on Strike and walked off the Job?

Think about how bad your work environment would have to be to make That kind of Statement.  It must have been terrible.

The Pilots were kidnapped by Flying Monkeys dressed like Clowns so no-one would be suspicious…  all under the employ of Al Qaeda who are angry because of the incessant delays in the Obamacare roll out?

We figured it out!  Simple enough for most of our Network News Correspondents to believe, and easily readable on a teleprompter.

Of course all this is ridiculous and,

All in 500 words or…

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