On the Heels of Rand Paul’s filing a Lawsuit against the NSA, We Make a Few Suggestions.

Senator Rand,

We are out here rooting for you!  But we’re also concerned, particularly after the story that our intelligence services wanted Edward Snowden Dead.  So here is a brief list of recommendations…

Might we suggest getting a Food Taster?

A Personal Mechanic? Preferably one willing to start your car in the morning.

Think strongly about staying out of wide open spaces with tall buildings or plentiful ground cover.  Stay away from windows.

When considering heading out to Lunch or Dinner pick several places and then flip a coin.  Keep that coin handy.

Vary your sleep schedule.

Take different routes to get around the Capital.

Get rid of your internet connection.

Toss the Phone.

Buy a typewriter.

Wear reversible clothing.

If it looks a little greasy and smells faintly of almonds, don’t open it.  Don’t even pick it up.

Read up on Polonium.

Find some guys that look like you and send them out for errands.  Often.

From ALL of US, we wish you the VERY best with your law suit.
Seriously, Good luck!

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