“A Monkey with a Hand Grenade”

The Russian Deputy Premier has accused the United States of acting like “A Monkey with a Hand Grenade“.

I take exception to this accusation!

The Obama Administration is Not acting like a Monkey with a Hand Grenade.

This Administration has a proud History of acting like a Poorly Educated, Entitled, Elitist, Egomaniacal, Mao Guerrilla with a Flame Thrower.

Until you Russians get it straight you should just close your Pierogi Hole!

And, I will not Overlook the Blatantly Racist use of “Hand Grenade”.  What are you people?  Rodeo Clowns?

Finally, the last thing I will tolerate is a bunch of Professional Socialists criticizing our “In the Closet” Professional Socialists.

For the record, Ivan, Ours are Way More Socialist than yours!

For instance. Is the SVR collecting every bit of information generated by every single citizen in your country!?

That’s what I thought!

So back off Boris!

Just because you borscht eaters kill a journalist or two doesn’t mean you’re better at oppressing your population and destroying your economy than we are.

If you haven’t noticed, we’re doing just fine over here… even with the journalists.

So why don’t you pull up to the nearest Samovar and pour yourself a steaming hot cup of Shut the F*ck Up.

Or,

I suggest pulling out a fresh bottle of Moskovskaya, pull the tab and watch the show Vlad.

We’ll demonstrate for you a thing or two about how to start a War…  our Liberals are Historically the Best!

Oh… and get some better shoes.  We can spot you guys a mile away from the top of the Cyclone.