Faster & Furiouser

I had hoped (kind of expected) that the Administration would have dropped the defense of “gun walking” as a solid, well thought out operation built on good intentions…
They have not.
The Administration has instead doubled down on Fast & Furious.  Instead of allowing sunlight on this BATFE action they have declared “executive privilege” in order to protect those involved from any scrutiny.

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (BATFE) could still be running such a brilliant operation as far as we know. The answers have not been provided nor does it appear they will be.
So….

Since Fast & Furious was clearly a well executed clandestine operation designed to stem the flow of guns into Mexico by Drug Cartels (by up-arming those cartels with weapons purchased using U.S. tax dollars and facilitated by BATFE agents in order not to impede the purchase and subsequent delivery of these weapons) who have demonstrated their blatant disregard for human life.

I have a several suggestions for operations that AG Holder could initiate as soon as possible…

1.  Drunk & Driver

This operation would be designed to stem the occurrences of overly intoxicated individuals from driving and subsequently killing other motorists and destroying property.  Here’s how it would work;  BATFE agents would set up in a bar and using your tax dollars, buy “suspects” drinks.  (Even over the protests of the bartender) Once the “suspect” is blind drunk the agents will then assist the individual to their vehicle and make sure it starts.  After the individual is securely behind the wheel the agents will walk off.

2.  Smoke’m if you Got’m

The mission here is to curb, or eliminate, smoking as it is a known carcinogen in addition to being sold heavily on the black market due to extraordinary taxes.  The operation starts at a local elementary school.  The agents would go undercover as teachers, advisors and students.  With the trust of their “suspects” they will proceed to use your tax dollars to purchase then give out packs of Marlboro’s to the 3rd and 4th graders.  (They are old enough at this point to know better thus removing any plausible deniability.)  The agents will continue this practice, including demonstrations of how to hold the cigarettes as well as inhaling, until the “suspect” figures out how to get ahold of the product themselves.  Once satisfied, the agents will leave.

3. Done Blowed Up

Finally, the last idea I have for AG Holder et al. is a little program designed to end all of those terrorist a-holes from blowing up our troops.  Given the involvement oversea’s of many of our domestic police forces I suggest inviting BATFE over to Afghanistan to start a special school.  The agency could use your tax dollars to supply the school with tons of PETN and some of the best explosive engineers we have to offer.  Once established we would invite any “local” showing the least amount of hostility towards Americans to take the three-day course on how to assemble, deliver and detonate a far more sophisticated explosive device than anything they might see being taught by their friends and associates.  Once the agents have completed several iterations of these classes over a number of months, they leave.

So there you go… full of the best intentions complete with no ability to follow-up and guaranteed to stem nothing.  Genius.

So why do we find it so difficult to believe such a ridiculous statement as “Fast & Furious was designed to stem the flow of guns into Mexico”?  Seems obvious, but I might be alone.

Oh!  I have one for the DEA… they could supply heroin addicts with tax payer purchased heroin in order to stem the use of drugs…

Wait!  Wait!  How about ICE!  We could grant amnesty to illegal aliens in order to stem the flow of illegal aliens into the U.S….  (crap.  nevermind.  They just started doing this.)

I’m sure with a few more minutes I can come up with a bunch more.

Where’s my bourbon…

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About Mike

Background is in Media with a little History Major thrown in just to be annoying. View all posts by Mike

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